We believe that every child deserves a loving family and a safe home. However, we do not believe that every family is meant to be an adoptive family. Our editorial team sat down with AdoptTogether mom Tacy Riehm to discuss some of the misguided reasons that parents have adopted in the past.

1. Convenience

Many couples think “Why not adopt a child? We’ve already got two children. What’s one more?” While there are plenty of myths about the challenges of raising adoptive children, there is a reality that your child’s origin will require you to adapt your parenting skills to a new challenge, which can involve interactions with a birth mother, special needs, cultural accommodations, and lots of time spent doing paperwork. The last thing a child needs is to come into a home with exasperated parents feeling bitter about the demands of their adoption process.

2. Personal Dissatisfaction

If you’re unsatisfied with your biological kids, bringing in an adopted child won’t correct or improve their behavior or relationship with you as parents. Most likely it will only complicate or worsen things with your biological kids and your adoptive child.

3. A Desire To Be Heroic

If you want to adopt to feel good about yourself or fulfill need to look heroic, this is not for you. As in any parenting role, you will not get the thanks you think you deserve.

4. Divided Family Support

If your entire family isn’t on board, adoption will be a nightmare. This is an all-hands-on-deck kind of situation. You need the others to be strong when you are struggling as a parent, as raising a child at any level is always a team effort!

5. Filling A Void

If you are trying to fulfill some kind of hole or deficit in your life, adoption is not the solution. While many people adopt animals out of a sense of loneliness, adopting a child is a different story. Adoption may indeed be something you feel passionate about, but take the time to work on yourself before building a family on an unstable foundation. Pre-adoptive education can be a great tool for building up this stable foundation! (link to pre-adoptive articles)

 by Tacy Riehm

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