"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."
~ 1 Samuel 1:27
When you get bad news, time seems to stand still. You feel numb for a while, not quite grasping what you've just heard. Then, it all hits at once. All those plans you've had laid out, shattered. The number you'd have, the names you've picked out, the nursery you've designed. The way you'd tell your parents they'd finally be grandparents. The look on your husbands face when you'd show him those two pink lines.
Everything just..gone.
They warn you about the sadness. The sense of loss. The statistics. They don't tell you, however, the isolation you feel. The complete shame and feeling of failure that hits at the most random of times. They don't tell you how other people's joy and greatest blessing tears away at your heart until you feel as though there's nothing left. They don't tell you how you lose your sense of purpose. That your arm ache for the child you will never hold. They don't tell you, you lose all hope. That you feel like God has abandoned you and is even taunting you by surrounding you by it. There's so many things they DON'T tell you.
Like how God uses brokenness to heal. How by ripping your heart out, He's making room for something SO much greater. How this heartache would draw us closer to Him and each other. That however vast the emptiness, He fills. How every baby picture, or pregnancy announcement breaks your heart all over again, but knowing He is there to pick up the pieces. How, soon, those pictures become a promise, not a condemnation. How everything WILL be alright.
Even before we were married, God planted in both of us, the desire to adopt. Although we had planned it a little differently, we now feel as though God was preparing our hearts for this phase in life. While there is still some heartache, it has been so greatly outweighed by hope and peace.
And now, friends, we have BIG news!
We are adopting a child!
We believe we have found an adoption agency based in Cheyenne, WY called Bethany Christian Services. We have our first official meeting with a social worker on Oct. 3rd to see if we are a good fit with the organization. Our initial application has already been accepted, so we are on our way! I will keep you all updated through our newsletter (you can find the link to the newsletter on facebook, or you can email me at [email protected] to get the info).
We are beyond excited and doing everything we can to be prepared to welcome this beautiful new life into our home. As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 or more. This is why we have set up a goal of $25,000 to help ease some of the financial burden.
Friends, family, and brothers & sisters in Christ, more important than funds, we ask that you will be praying for the child God has prepared for us, that they will know that they are already so loved and wanted. For the birth parents, that they will feel peace about this difficult decision and that this will open the opportunity for them to come to Christ. Finally, for Dillon and I, for guidance, clarity, wisdom, and LOTS of patience while we wait.
We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as a part of the community we hope to build around our child as he/she grows up. We are so thankful for each and every one of you. Thank you for your support!
Dillon and Marissa Hansen
