This is my Story and explain till the end how l desire to adopt a child. My name is Adriana. This is a story about a little girl who was born in Brazil and grew up in an orphanage with 200 children for all her childhood, since I was 1 years old. Orphanage is a place devoted to the care of orphans and children who, for various reasons, cannot be cared for their biological families. I didn't know who was my mom, she never come to visit me. I don't know how she looked like. I had a dad, he come to visit me once-twice por year. I remember a little bit of his face.
My mom and my Dad left me in the orphanage when l was 1 years old. My dad and my mom didn't live full time together.
My mom was very poor but I didn't understand how poor she was till I met her in person for the first time after 30 years.
Her family passed away when she was 13 years old and she grew up alone and had to face life without parents and not help. Living in Brazil at that time was not like living in America or Europe with poor, middle class and rich people. Many years ago life there was different. Life was about being born into a rich or poor family!
My mother had to work on the farm and wake up at 4am to earn money;but money was not enough for her to pay bills alone, so she faced the prostitution world to live. Is in the prostitution world where she met my father. My father was not poor, he was a doctor-dentist who had a long relationship with my mother. He was older than my mother, 20 years older. My mother at that time was very young. At 17 years old she had with him my sister's first name Christiana and after 2 years I was born too. He decided to rent a little house for my mother and us but he didn't live full time in that house.
He had a family, he was married with 4 kids and he was living with his wife almost full time. They had no problem with money.
We were the "invisible child" to them. Over the years they have known about us but have never contacted us. My father never recognized my sister and I in the paperwork as their children. In my birth certificate I have only my mother's name.
My mother started having some mental problems with time after she met my father. She was still doing both jobs, farming plus prostitution to live. Sometimes, she took us with her while she was doing prostitution and left us in the room seating while she was doing her job. We had very little understanding of everything. That time they used to do prostitution in the home.
My dad was living with my mom part-time. One day, my mother was alone at home giving us a bath, she tried to suffocate me under water. My father was not home but he came right after and surprised my mom what she was doing with me. After this, my father decided to take us to the orphanage and leave my sister and I there. He came to visit us. Sometimes my mother never comes after that! I didn't see her anymore.
She came 2 years later and took my older sister Christiana with her with the excuse of taking a walk and taking her back to the orphanage later, but she never returned with her. I never saw my sister anymore after that. They disappeared, not even police were able to find them in all of Brazil. I knew she changed addresses 35 times in 6 years. So I was not anymore with my sister, I was alone in the orphanage. I had to face many difficult situations.
I was the invisible child. When I was 3 years old I was even entrusted to 2 different families who had 4 children for 4 months (3 months and 4 months) but then they both brought me back to the orphanage because they said I was too " lively a child" for them. So, I was alone again.
I still have a memory of that! I even lost one of my shoes while playing with their kids on a bridge with under a river. I've always dreamed of those shoes carried away by the current.
I was only 4 when l started working in a farm picking tomatoes and potatoes under the hot sun. I cleaned up the bathroom and learned how to wash my clothes by myself. The rules and disciplines in the orphanage were tough but I was used to it with time.
One day when I was 6 l left the orphanage, because I wanted to see the world outside. I had no money, not shoes, just a few shorts and a shirt. I didn't know where to go, l was a little afraid but I kept working and l got into a bus making sure no one was seeing me.
I didn't know where that bus could take me. I tried to hide on the back like a little monkey.
I was very curious and brave but my adventure on this bus didn't last long. Someone saw me and called the police. The police came and they took me back to the orphanage. Back to the invisible place. I got punished for that!!!
I lived in the orphanage for 9 years, for all my childhood. A new family came to see me. I was adopted by a nice family . I was chosen as they choose oranges in the supermarket. I was in a room with 5 children, we were lined up like soldiers. My family had to choose only one. In the end, they chose me. Being adopted gave me so many opportunities that I am grateful for every day. I am an only child, l don't have any brothers or sisters. Today, l am a strong woman, I am 38years old, with my head held high. I can't thank my adoptive family enough for transmitting to me the love and the education that l have today and that l would like to pass to a child who needs love and a warm family as I needed when I was child. I always had a great passion for adoption.
I used to have a bad dream for long time, so after 30 years I did some research about my biological family and I went back to visit them. I asked my Italian mom to come with me. I wanted her to be part of this with me together. She was super happy, she did so much for me and I always told her that she always will be my unique mother and that she had not to be afraid. I am glad that I was able to go there with her. We took a long flight together. From that time, after seeing my biological family I had not more bad dream.
When I first met my biological mother, it was like being in a movie scene.
I first met my sister who took me to her. I remember that my sister told me: you have to be strong because you won't like what you're about to see. I replied: OK! She took me by car to her house on top of the hill. We stopped the car 1 km before my mother's house. We were in the middle of the favelas, other term favelas means slum or ghetto, surrounded by chickens and so many 2-3-year-old children carrying their sisters in their laps like mom.
It was normal for them to take care of their little brother or sister at that age. I tried to dress very simple. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. After a 1 km walk uphill to a hill with unpaved road my sister told me: I wait for you here, keep going and to turn left and go down some steps, down there is her house. Her house is the third on the left. Her name is Maria, the same name as my adoptive mother, her name is also Maria. What coincidence you will tell me! Yes, they both have the same name.
I went down the hill on my own and my heart started to beat so fast, suddenly I felt like I was in a movie scene! This was the scene of my life. I could not describe that moment! I felt so many strong emotions inside that it felt like I couldn't breathe very well. I thought I was dreaming. When I got there, I felt like my heart was about to stop. I was confused. I finally arrived at the tirth house on the left.
That wasn't a house, it was a shack surrounded by mud outside, there was even a baby shoe under the mud. It felt like a place where pigs live, not where a person lives.
I called her name: Maria, Maria ? But no one answered me. I took some pictures of that house and I kept it just for myself, never shown to anyone. It was a very sad place. The ugliest and saddest place I have ever been to.
For a minute I stopped and felt my heart in my throat. I saw the place where I come from, then I went back to my sister's car who was waiting for me up the hill.
I climbed that hill with an indescribable emptiness inside me. I wanted to scream at the world but I didn't. I told my sister she was not there, maybe she ran away for fear of seeing me. So, my sister took me to her stepsister's house. I didn't know I had another sister. Everything was new for me (she had the same mother but a different father). She was born 10 years later.
My sister was the first to enter the house, my mother second, I was the last one.
The house had some little steps, six steps. Climbing those six steps seemed like an infinite time of my life. I was waiting 30 years to see the face of the person who gave me life. In front of the house 3 ladies were standing by the door. I looked at them, I was hoping one of those women wasn't my mother, but the one I wanted wasn't my mother!
I looked at her and gave her my hand, but she didn't wave back to me.
We went inside with my adoptive mom Maria and my sister Christiana, I met for the first time. Her name is Aline. She was a very pretty and happy girl. There was some food on the table.
My biological mother didn't talk to me for an hour. But then I took her hand again and asked her to come to eat with us. So, finally we started talking.
I told her that I was there not to judge her but to know her. She didn't need to explain anything to me if she didn't want to.
I could feel she had suffered a lot. Suddenly she began to explain the whole story. I listened to her carefully.
I hugged her very tightly, she thanked my adoptive mother very much for taking care of me all these years.
Seeing two mothers, one biological and one adoptive, hug each other, two complete strangers who have never seen each other before, I thought it was something magical and unique at that moment.
I watched them from a distance and saw two women who suffered for different reasons. One mother who struggled to have a child and had to wait 10 years before adopting a child and one mother who suffered poverty, who had to face some mentalities issues and did everything she could to survive.
I didn't judge any of them. I simply loved them as they are, rich in soul.
It was time to leave, I remember my mother Maria telling me to say goodbye to her and give her a big hug. It was the longest hug of my life.
We drove back with my sister and her husband. I remember the car ride was 2 hours from their house and when I was inside the car I cried sobbing. It was dark outside and it was raining. I had the opportunity to see my mother again another day, but I preferred not to do that. It was better that way.
I am glad that after 30 years I am able to give a name and a face to the person who gave me life. I never judged her. She was still working on the farm and got up every morning at 3am to collect coffee to live. She was alone, no more men leaving with her. This was her life and I'm glad I was able to be part of it even for a little bit.
This is my story, as deep as is the love I feel for my adoptive mother, the person who raised me with so much love. and dedication. In life you cannot choose the family where to be born but destiny sometimes guides you towards the path of love.
I don't hold grudges, but I can only feel love in all of this despite everything.
I have a child named Alexander here in the picture with my husband Matthew, who was born on the same day I was adopted!! I would love to adopt a child and give Alexander a brother or a sister. Unfortunately, my fertility specialist said l can not have kids anymore. My amh is extremely lawy for my age with 0 zero ovarian reserve. The only option for me is lVF or adopt a child. Adopt a child is
I really appreciate and thank everyone who would like to donate and help me on this journey and cover half the cost of this beautiful dream! Any amount you can contribute will make a difference -even 5$.
With Love,
Best.
Adriana, Matthew and Alexander
Thank you!!!
