With all that we have been through to get us here, we are grateful. For those of you who don't know our story, here is the overview…
When our firstborn, Oliver came into the world at 34 weeks it made things a little complicated for us. We hadn't had trouble getting pregnant so everything was going to "plan." However, when little 4 lb 5 oz Oli came into the world it threw us for a whirlwind. Not only did it mean 3 weeks in the hospital for Lydia but also 4 weeks in the NICU for Oli. We are so lucky to say that we have a healthy, strong, loving little 5 year old now but this really set the stage for what our family journey would look like. Since there were so many complications having Oli we were really scared to jump back into getting pregnant. Lydia was very sick at the time of Oliver's birth and there was no guarantee it wouldn't happen again. We didn't even talk about it for over a year and then when we did…it ended up with hard conversations and a lot of doctor visits to make sure we weren't setting ourselves up for more hardship. Through all of that, we both knew that our family wasn't done and it was worth any hardship that may come. We had no idea at the time what that decision exactly meant. And while we spent so much time preparing for what the end of our pregnancy might look like, we didn't spend any energy thinking about the beginning. This is where the next level of our journey began.
Almost three years ago we found out we were expecting. The second baby and lots of excitement. We were ready! We bought Oli a 'big brother' shirt, made nursery plans and couldn't wait to announce the news. Unfortunately, during an ultrasound, we found out that we had miscarried at around 9 weeks. The first miscarriage was extremely hard and caused a lot of fear and tears but again we knew our family wasn't finished. We knew that "these things happened," and we looked to a brighter future.
Over the next two years, we lost a total of 6 babies (one loss being twins). One right after the other. Each time Doctors explaining that nothing was wrong. They couldn't find a reason as to why this was happening. So we kept trying. Our faith was tested. Our marriage was tested. And as one wound seemed to heal, another would rip open to more devastating news. Each baby a deeper level of grief we hadn't experienced prior. While we still cannot begin to describe the pain of those losses, we know that in the darkness we were able to see more clearly the light. We went to counseling and grew stronger in our marriage than ever before. We watched our community rally for us. We were able to share our struggles openly and find out that so many people have been touched by the pain and despair of miscarriage but for some reason, the shame overwhelmed the willingness to connect. We found a community around this. We were united in an unidentifiable loss.
And yet… through it all, still, there remained a tiny whisper: "We aren't done yet."
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So, here we are everyone. After a lot of consideration, conversations, and prayer over what the next steps for our family could look like, we feel 100% certain that adoption is the next chapter of our journey. We are so excited to bring this little one into our home, for Oliver to put on his tiny Big Brother shirt, to finally hold our baby that we've been longing to hold for years. We didn't want the cost of adoption to be the reason we didn't move forward, but in true transparency, it was a big factor for us. It's a lot of money. But we know that it is the right thing and we have faith that it will work out.
Many people have asked how they can help us over the past three years. The love and support we have felt from our community is unreal. The biggest need we have at this time is getting the funds together to get this baby into our arms. We understand this is a crazy time for everyone right now. COVID has definitely affected Lydia's business. Many of her larger jobs for the year have had to pull out (money we were planning on putting straight into adoption funds). So, if this creates hesitancy in any way, or stress please do not contribute. There are so many ways we can feel your support, it does not have to be financial. But if this is something you feel can be given freely and with joy than we would be so grateful for every dollar. The amount shown is based on agency fees, home studies, training courses, and lawyer costs.
Thank you for reading our story. Thank you to those who have been next to us from day 1 of this crazy journey. We love you all and can't wait to keep you in the loop as we take each next step towards bringing our baby home. Prayers for encouragement and optimism are so appreciated!
Lydia, Kevin, and Oliver
