Our greatest desire has always been to be parents. As we were dating and talking about our future together, it was never a question about having children. We wanted them and we wanted a lot of them! So fast forward to 3 years later (2015) and it was still just the 2 of us. At that point we knew that something was wrong, so we sought help. It turns out that the Lord had blessed us with infertility. Ashleigh had some medical issues that were unknown to us. They are either detected by infertility or when they have caused major issues (brain tumor/cancer)….so a blessing! At the point of diagnosis, everything was able to be managed and symptoms even reversed. So after surgery and some medication, things were back on track and much to our surprise after about 6 months we were expecting!
When we found out we were expecting we were still technically with the fertility clinic so they monitored Ashleigh very closely. At around 10 weeks, they began to be concerned with some excess fluid around the baby’s neck. (This marks the beginning of the roller coaster that would be our life for the next 9 months.) They did some blood testing because they thought it might be Down syndrome. So at 13 weeks we found out that it was not Downs and it was a BOY!!! So a lot of celebration and relief…until the next day. We were then sent to another specialist. After doing more scans, he told us that Ashleigh’s body was recognizing that something was wrong with the baby and aborting it. He expected a miscarriage by the end of the week. Fast forward to 3 weeks later and he was still growing strong. At 16 weeks, it was clear what was wrong. He was diagnosed with a rare and major heart defect. We were told that he would need 3 open heart surgeries starting at around 1 week of life. We were devastated but knew that we would fight for him with every breath. So after many more weeks and lots and lots and LOTS of appointments and prayers we welcomed our son, Clarke David. He was beautiful and everything we had dreamed of and worth every moment of grief and waiting.
That night he was transported across the street to LeBonheur. By the next day, after more scans and testing, the news had gotten worse. He had more issues with his heart that they did not detect and after the heart panel met they concluded that his only option was to have a heart transplant. So next began the work to get him listed. After 7 long but so short, horrible but so wonderful days, the Lord called Clarke home. We were thankful for his life, thankful to be his parents, and also thankful that the Lord was sparing him from more pain. The days and months that followed became a blur. What can hurt more than losing a child? We were able to survive it by God alone. He carried us and comforted us and blessed us by surrounding us with family and friends that ministered to us and grieved with us.
By the next January, God began to stir my heart toward adoption. We discussed it and Ashleigh believed that she was “not ready to enter into another battle”. By May, God began to work on her and He gave her a desire to seek adoption. She brought it up again and after a lot of prayer and discussion and counsel we decided that now was the time to pursue it. We began the process 3 weeks later! So now we are on a journey of bringing our second child home and we couldn’t be more excited!
As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal of $30,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.
Please continue to pray for us and check back for updates! Thanks!
