We have big news: WE ARE ADOPTING!
Many of you know that we've been trying to start a family since 2017 and our journey has been filled with a lot of pain, loss, confusion, and disappointment. We've endured years of IUI and IVF attempts, and lost three precious babies to miscarriage in 2020. That loss was devastating and marked the end of infertility medical assistance. We could not go through that again, nor the havoc it wreaked on Gretchen's body and both of our mental and emotional health. We've spent the past two years intentionally grieving and healing (both individually and as a couple). We knew that if we wanted to move into the next stage healthy and whole, we had to rebuild what was broken.
This fall (2022), we finally felt ready to grow our family through adoption and are incredibly grateful to be unified and choosing to adopt not out of lack or pain, but because we are ready to welcome a little one — with joy. Check out our video of our full adoption story in Update #1 below.
It may surprise you to hear that domestic adoptions can easily total $45,000+, so we are reaching out to our community for support, trusting that with the help of others we will be able to welcome a little one into our home. Funds raised will be used to cover legal fees, required adoption education, home studies and social workers, support for the birth mom, and travel and housing (for an out-of-state adoption). None of this funding covers cribs, clothes, diapers, or baby equipment.
The process brings so many emotions — excitement, fear, joy, anxiety — but ultimately we feel this is so right for us. Adoption is complex and nuanced — and begins with loss between the birth mom and baby. We're committed to supporting the birth mom in this process and ensuring her physical, emotional, and mental needs are cared for, and we're also committed to learning, to growing, and to becoming the best parents we can be. We trust that wherever this leads, our family will be beautiful and exactly what it was always meant to be.
Thank you for your love, support, and kindness over the years,
Gentry, Gretchen, and Our Future Little (TBD)
Hello friends, family, and adoption supporters!
He's here: Theodore (Theo) Gentry Schmidt Lusby, a "gift from the Divine."
In the greatest surprise of our lives, we got a call from our adoption counselor at 6pm on January 5th. We'd been chosen — and we had to be at a hospital in Easton, Pennsylvania by 9am the next morning to pick up our baby boy who had been born the day before on January 4th at 4:51pm. He weighed 7.2 pounds and was 19 inches long.
We had only been on the adoption waiting list for two months. We hadn't even finished our emergency adoption plan yet!
After we got off the phone, Gentry and I stared at each other and then we laughed, cried, and panicked — in that order. Then we called both sets of parents and a few close friends. Within 30 minutes, our house was FULL of people who could not contain their excitement. We somehow captured a video of the moment when everyone was loudly congratulating each other on their baby boy — while Gentry and I stood off to the side and cried and smiled like goobers. It's one of our most treasured memories. Then everyone piled in cars and we ran to Target at 9:30pm to get a few clothes, burp cloths, and the smallest socks imaginable.
After a sleepless night, Gentry and I headed out at 7:30am on January 6th and we could barely breathe the entire drive. Three hours after arriving and loads of paperwork later, Theo was placed into our custody and we were discharged. We asked the nurse and the adoption social worker if they were really sure we could leave — and also what the heck we were supposed to do with a newborn. ;)
We drove through a massive snowstorm and arrived back home with Theo only 22 hours after we first heard we were chosen. Our lives have been a whirlwind of tears, laughter, disbelief, Target runs, late night snuggles, and constant newborn-care-blog-reading ever since. We are smitten and sleepy — and surrounded by our amazing community of family and friends who are so in love with this little man. Raising any baby requires a village, but an emergency adoption absolutely depends on a loving community willing to do whatever it takes to surround this little precious life. We're grateful.
Theo's birth mom did not know she was pregnant. She went to the ER with "flu-like symptoms and back pain" only to find out she was in labor. Talk about a shock. She chose us out of 16 couples because she wanted this baby to be a blessing and she knew without a doubt that he would be a blessing to us. She also loved how we talked about our families and our community of friends who could not WAIT for this day. She chose not to meet Theo nor us and for the time being desires a closed adoption. When she signed her official consents a week after birth, she still felt firm in her decision that the most loving plan for Theo is adoption; she is wavering a bit on a fully closed adoption, however. We'd love for her and Theo to know each other in the future so this is all good news.
In Pennsylvania, birth moms have 30 days from the time they sign consents to change their minds. In our agency, this happens 10% of the time. Our wait ends at midnight on February 10th. There are no words to express all the emotions that come with these 30 days. Please send your thoughts and prayers both to the birth mom and to us as we all navigate this new normal.
**Because of this 30 day waiting period, it's a risk for us to share the news which is why we've kept it a secret these past 11 days. But it's just too hard to keep it from all of you any longer. Also, to protect Theo's privacy, he absolutely cannot be put on social media. Thank you in advance for respecting this. After our 30-day wait, we'll publicly announce him but will protect his identity until the finalization of the adoption 6-8 months from now. If we don't already have your email address, please reply to [email protected] and we'll share some photos and future updates.**
We cannot pass on a legacy of blood to Theo, but we can pass on a legacy of name so that he always knows where he belongs and where home is. His first middle name is Gentry, named after his father. His second middle name, Schmidt, is Gretchen's maiden name. We are proud that Mr. T now carries on our heritage.
Theo is perfectly healthy. We've hoped for a healthy and happy baby but realistically prepared for the scary and big scenarios that many adopted children are born into. He’s the most chill baby ever, has cheeks for days, and a dimpled chin. Mr. T is simply perfection.
A few ways you can get involved!
Adoption Fundraising: Now that Theo is here, it's accelerated our fundraising timeline! We've covered about $30,000 out of $50,000 so far between online fundraisers, people's generosity, private fundraising events, and our own savings. If you're interested in helping us spread the word and raise the final $20,000, you can give online here for tax deductible donations or you can give to us directly (cash, check, or Gretchen's Paypal account: http://paypal.me/gretchenlusby).
Meal Train: Cooking is not a priority right now, but we are trying to remember to eat! If you'd like to bring a meal (or send a gift card for those out of area), you can sign up for our meal train here: http://paypal.me/gretchenlusby.
Baby Shower: Once the 30 day wait is over, we'll host a baby shower. Our community is planning a tentative shower so save the date for the weekend of February 23rd. In between feeding, staring, and singing lullabies, we're putting together a registry. We'll share it when it's ready!
Thanks for sharing in our joy. What a journey!
Gretchen and Gentry
Hi everyone,
We're busy putting together our Emergency Adoption Placement Plan and gathering items for our Emergency Kit. We've been blown away this past week by people's generosity. Our home is full of pack n plays, strollers, play pens, and baby linens.
Would you like to join our Adoption Supporters email list? If so, send your full name and email to [email protected] and I'll get you signed up! When our placement happens, we likely will not be posting much, if anything, publicly until the baby is officially a Lusby. Depending on which state we adopt from, this could be 30 days to several months. Additionally, there's a 10% chance our adoption is disrupted and the birth family changes their mind. Because of all of this, we'll mainly communicate instead through this email list so that everyone knows what's going on but we can still keep things private.
Thanks for all of your love and support!
Hello, all.
We can’t believe we’re finally here. After 11 months of paperwork, classes, fundraising, research, weighty discussions, and equally weighty decisions, we’re now actively waiting for a birth family to chose us for the biggest honor of our lives — raising a baby that’s been entrusted to our care. The final step was putting together a look book on our lives which birth families use to choose the adoptive family. This was no small task.
And now we wait.
This is also no small task. We’ve been waiting and hoping since 2017. Our season of waiting looks a little different this time around, but the longing is still the same. We’ve had an extended amount of time to think through how we want to raise children; we dream of leaving a legacy that teaches the next generation to lead a life that’s built on kindness, curiosity, and bravery.
We're with an agency that works in 6 states on the east coast. We love our adoption counselor and feel incredibly grateful to have her guiding us through all of this. The majority of adoptions in our agency are emergency placements, meaning we will have a 24 hour notice. So, we took an evening to celebrate our new status and then jumped right into the work of preparing for an emergency placement! This includes continuing to fundraise (we're halfway through our fundraising goal!), collecting an emergency kit of infant necessities like carseats, bassinets, and some clothing and blankets, and then putting together our emergency placement plan. Most likely, our adoption will be out-of-state, so our plan includes what to do with our dogs and house, what to pack (because we definitely won't be thinking straight when the time comes), supplies we'll need to buy en-route, and of course, the start of our baby names list.
Thanks for your love and support along the way. We truly couldn’t do this without you!
Gretchen and Gentry
We are thrilled to announce that we’re now officially Home Study approved which means we are certified to adopt! 🎉
This involved about 75 pages of paperwork on our end and a 16-page report from our adoption counselor. Phew! Our next step is to hopefully find an adoption agency very, very soon that we’re comfortable with and aligns with our values and enter the mix of Hopeful Adoptive Parents (HAPs). Thanks for all of your love and support through this process!
We're partnering with our favorite sweet shop in downtown Lancaster, PA — Stroopies — to raise money for our adoption! Starting Sunday March 26th and going through Easter Sunday (2 weeks), 30% of every sale using our special code (coming soon!) will go to our adoption. And friends, Stroopies are AMAZING for Easter baskets!
Stroopies are a Dutch stroopwafel, pressed in a waffle iron using local ingredients from companies committed to social responsibility. Two cinnamon waffles sandwich a layer of homemade caramel making a delicious cookie that is just the right size to rewarm on top of your favorite mug over a hot beverage.
With options including everything from gluten-free and honey-infused, to a variety of decadent flavors dipped in locally-made Wilbur Chocolate, there is something for everyone to love.
But more than that, Stroopies exists to provide meaningful employment to local resettled refugee women! This is near and dear to our hearts as Gretchen used to serve on this resettlement agency's board and began her career working with refugees 17 years ago.
Here's the details:
- Shop online (https://www.stroopies.com/store) or in the store (141N N Duke St, Lancaster) and make sure to enter our code (TBD)
- Select to pick up in store (free), OR
- Select to have it hand-delivered if you live in Lancaster County. They deliver on Tuesday and Fridays. Hand delivery charge is $10.20, OR
- Select to pay a shipping fee of $10.20 to cover the cost for FedEx 2day shipping to anywhere in the United States.
- If you want it shipped to Canada, please reach out to Stroopies at [email protected] to place a special order and receive your rate. Make sure to mention the fundraiser!
