I've been single and, outside of work, more or less at the center of my own universe for 33 years. This life had become comfortable and routine for me, so when my heart started to change, I was scared. I fought it. I wanted to remain in the comfort zone of my predictable routine but I knew something wasn't right.
Working with special needs children through college and then after college throughout my career, I had become complacent with my routine of serving "my" children at work, and then coming home to my familiar routine focused on self care and the joys of 'me time." Focusing on Adoption was put on my heart but I continued to deny it, "Not me, I'm not ready to be a mom, what about my 'me time?'" I did not realize at the time that this was actually my own fears of not being worthy of being a mother holding me back! Eventually there was a moment I realized I no longer wanted to be the center of my own universe, I was ready to live and love someone else exponentially more than I loved myself. This was too heavy on my heart to be able to deny it. It was about this time that randomly scrolling through Instagram it suggested I look at the profile of a popular little girl who was adopted from China and has Down syndrome. It hit me like a ton of bricks, the Lord has been grooming me my whole life to love children who weren't born to me. In addition, over the last 10 years He has grown in my heart a special love for and bond with exceptional children. I agreed then and there with Him that if adoption was the path I was supposed to be taking, not only would I accept it, I would move heaven and earth for that child that will one day be mine. Accepting and embracing this calling on my life brought a peace and joy to my heart that I'm not sure I've ever experienced. Through more prayer, an open heart and confirmation at every turn, I've decided to adopt a child with Down syndrome from Colombia.
I've been quoted the total adoption fee will be between $30,000 and $40,000. Those figures initially intimated me but if the Lord can change my heart from the self care focused individual I was to someone who wants to become the mother of not only an orphan but an orphan with special needs, he can see me through the finances required. This can be a loooooong process and though I'm sure I'll have to remind myself on multiple occasions, I am beyond positive that God will bring my child home even if it's not in the timeline I desire or understand. With your help, I will have the funds to continue this process and move to the next step which includes the contract with an adoption agency and a home study.
John 14:18, English Standard Version: “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
Hebrews 10:36, NLT: "Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised."
