"Who would you want to care for your own children or grandchildren? Would you want people you know and love and can trust, or would you want a stranger? – MARC CHERNA, DIRECTOR OF ALLEGHENY COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES"
We don't have your traditional adoption story. In fact, when we first started the adoption process, nothing could have ever prepared us for the obstacles that we would face. What initially started as a calling to adopt has led to a long, drawn out, fight for my cousin who is in the custody of DSS.
When we initially made the decision to adopt, we knew that we wanted to adopt an older and legally free child. We had no desire of racking up tens of thousands in adoption fees. Life didn't care about our plans. To date, we have spent over $20,000.00 in attorney fees, with no foreseeable end in sight.
Throughout this journey, I have encountered things that appear unethical from an outsider's perspective, and I can't in good conscience turn a blind eye. There must be accountability, transparency, and accurate documentation. We aren't just fighting to provide my cousin with a lifetime of ties to his biological family, we are fighting for truth, justice, and for the best interest of all children in the system to TRULY be considered.
Backstory: In May 2022, my baby cousin entered the foster care system in another state. In June, we came forward as a potential placement home. Unfortunately, paternity needed to be established and DSS did not want to place him in a different state while reunification was a possibility.
In October my cousin (the baby’s father) reached out and asked our family to adopt his son. Sadly, my cousin (the baby’s father) passed away. My family and I hired an attorney and in the weeks that followed, dss agreed to start the ICPC process (interstate compact agreement) with the goal of sending my cousin to our home.
If you have any experience in the adoption world, you know how slow moving an icpc can be. Between the time we started the icpc process and now, the baby’s moms rights have been terminated, our icpc has been approved, and the foster moms are requesting to adopt my cousin.
March 2023, our ICPC was approved and then we were notified via email that we were not going to be the preferred placement.
At this point, we are having to fight the courts to even allow us a hearing. We never anticipated that we would be in a legal battle over my cousin. We are creating this fundraiser to help offset the legal expenses that we have and will incur.
As of today, we are 1 week away from hearing the judges ruling on our evidentiary hearing. The evidentiary hearing ended up taking 2 days and I hope the judge sees that we really did come forward in June 2022 and that we do have an interest in this case.
I’ve been applying for adoption grants and we have a tentatively scheduled application review for one grant on June 7. 🤞
I was hoping to donate plasma to make some extra $$$ for our attorney fees, but I’m not eligible right now because of a medication that I’m on. We are hoping that at least one of the many grants I’ve applied for will come through.
As always, we are so incredibly thankful for all of the love and support during this incredibly taxing season. ❤️
Thank you to everyone who has donated! We love you all and appreciate you so much.
I just wanted to give an update on where we are right now. As many of you know, our competing adoption petition was previously denied by the court. However, we still had a different petition out there that hadn’t been heard by the court yet.
At our hearing for the other petition, we were granted an evidentiary hearing by the court. This was a big win for us. Even though it still doesn’t determine who will get custody, this is hopefully our chance at getting a best interest hearing.
I’ll post an update next week after our hearing.
