We are so excited to begin our adoption journey to welcome a sweet new life into our home!
Our Family's Decision to Adopt
We believe we can give our future child/children a safe, loving home, where they can grow and thrive. We can teach them how to be kind, loving, strong, independent individuals who make the world a better place. We believe we have been called to share our love with our children, no matter how they might find their way to our home.
Erin was born with spina bifida, meaning her spine was not fully closed, and she had a hysterectomy. She learned when she was about five that she would never carry a child. Erin has always known that she would adopt, not just out of necessity, but because it felt like it was part of the plan for her and her family. We were friends for 1.5 years first. Before we started dating, Erin told Chris she could not carry a child. We knew we would be together, we would have a family, and adoption would be part of that story.
After nearly a decade of marriage, our daughter, Juniper, was born via gestational surrogate. June is a thriving toddler who is funny, smart, kind, curious, and independent. She likes to sing at the top of her lungs, dance like no one is watching, and tickle everyone. She loves swim lessons and dance classes, and recently has adopted the name “Lightning McQueen.” She loves her dog, her friends at school, her family, her racecars, and her “babies” (dolls and stuffed animals). She loves to read to them, given them baths, feed them, and teach them how to be a “big girl.” She will be an amazing big sister.
We are filled with compassion and awe for the expectant (birth) parents who are on their own adoption journey. The selfless strength expectant parents display in choosing to place their children for adoption is amazing to us as parents. We cannot express the overwhelming love, awe, and compassion we feel for parents who are making such hard decisions for the welfare of their children, physically, mentally, and emotionally. For us, the act of a parent placing their child for adoption is truly one of love above oneself.
Our Family's Hope for the Adoption Journey
Our home is a child-centered home. We have established routines, so that our child(ren) know what to expect and feel safe and cared for in a predictable, loving environment. We understand the importance of having established rituals and routines both for Juniper and our future adopted child(ren).
We have been keeping a journal for our adopted child(ren), similar to one we kept for Juniper throughout the surrogacy journey. We understand the importance of our children knowing their backgrounds and where they came from. We are open to having as open an adoption as we can and will work with our agency to learn as much about our adopted children’s backgrounds as possible, so that we can provide them with the care and support they might need.
We hope to provide as much close contact as we can post-adoption, with skin-to-skin contact, rooming in with the baby at the hospital, carrying the baby close to us with baby carrier, and utilizing a Halo bassinet that will keep the baby close to us when sleeping. We also recognize the importance of community and will not be shy about asking for help or to engage in support groups.
Finally, our home is one of positive consequences, not punishment. We utilize a time-in strategy for Juniper. Sometimes she has big feelings. We believe it is important to acknowledge those feelings and help her to find the healthy tools to deal with them. Praise goes a long way, and we find that celebrating the small milestones is much more effective in guiding her as she continues to grow and develop.
Our Family's Need
While we are financially prepared to move forward with our calling to adopt, no matter the funding received, we are also grateful for any and all support we will receive, whether financial or otherwise. We finished our education and started our careers in New York City, but as we planned for the arrival of Juniper, we realized the importance of returning to our families in North Carolina and raising our child(ren) near them.
Chris was lucky to find an opening as a music history professor in NC right before June was born. After spending 8 months at home with Juniper, Erin was lucky to find a job with the flexibility and support to allow her to parent and pursue her passion in the law. She returned to work.
The move to NC was quick and took us by surprise. Not only are we still paying off our student loan debt and some of the debt incurred in having June (including a personal loan and credit card payments), but our entire lifestyle changed, bringing a need to purchase vehicles and a desire to buy a home, something we had not planned for in living in NYC, where most people rent. All this at a time when both of our salaries, given the difference in NYC versus NC markets, were reduced significantly. Moreover, the pandemic, combined with a housing shortage, has made buying a home in our area, absent a significant down payment, significantly challenging.
We have a financial plan and we are saving to buy a home for our family. Any financial support to alleviate the cost of adoption and expansion of our family will directly support our goal of home ownership and alleviate the financial impact of our move to North Carolina, which has drastically benefited our family.
Join Us in this Journey
As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. Adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal to raise as much as possible through grants and crowdfunding to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.
We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as part of the community we hope to build around our child as they grow up.
Love,
The Ogburns
