Life update: we are adopting!
We have always dreamed of being parents, even open to adopting one day. We had our version of our picture perfect family, our perfect timeline, and our perfect way we thought it would happen. We had it all planned out (lol). However, this image we built up in our minds took a surprising turn this past year.
After 2 years of trying for children, we decided to seek medical help. Three doctors, several tests, and a “hail mary” medication later – we unfortunately received the painful diagnosis of male factor infertility. Before trying the medication, we were given a 15% chance of ever conceiving children- that was with IVF. After the medication failed, the chances given by our doctor went down to 0%.
We have been grieving this news since our first test results in November, grappling with unmet longings, confusion and anger, wondering what our future as hopeful parents looks like. The sorrow is deep and the emotions are complicated, even gray at times. But we’re learning to navigate everything that comes from infertility, and dang it’s hard and there’s not a cookie cutter way to walk through it.
But, even in the thick of our grief and unanswered wonderings, we know that the Lord is still good! Yes, we have pleaded for a different outcome and asked “Why?” countless times, but He has continuously met our hurt and questions with more of Himself. He’s so kind to give us peace that surpasses our limited understanding when there’s not much we understand about this. He’s given us the freedom to feel contradicting emotions at the same time– we get to hold both mourning and joy in our hands together. We get to both grieve our situation while rejoicing in knowing infertility isn’t the end of our story! We’re learning to pray for a miracle- believing that He can do it, while also trusting He is calling us to adoption. Both are gifts from Him, and both are miracles.
We’re choosing adoption because for us, it is a picture of the Gospel. God didn’t have to choose us, but He did. He didn’t have to love us, but He does. And to prove His perfect love, He sent Jesus to die the death that we deserve and raised Him up to defeat death. Because of this, we are adopted into His family and we’re no longer orphans of the world or dead in our sin. We’re given a new name, a new home, a new family, and a new future in Christ. We’re given unconditional love, mercy, freedom and grace simply by believing in & surrendering to Jesus. We get to live out a tiny glimpse of this picture through adopting our own baby!
We cannot wait to meet who is set apart for our family!! Plus, our pups Riley and Pixie are really excited to have a baby brother or sister around the house! We would love your prayers for wisdom and discernment through the adoption process. For the health, safety and care of our future child, wherever they may be. For our baby’s birth mother & father. Pray for their hearts and minds as they face the brutally courageous choice of, in love, choosing adoption. Pray for the consultants, agency, and legal team we will work with.
We will be sharing more of our journey with you because we know that both infertility and adoption can be very lonely roads to walk without people coming alongside you. If that’s you, we are always open to share more about our experience or offer encouragement that you are not alone.
As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $40,000 to $60,000. This is why we have set a tentative goal of $50,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.
Infertility is not the end of our story, because stories the Lord writes never end in ashes or brokenness. He heals, he restores, and he redeems in His perfect way & time. This is His story, and we can’t wait to see how He has authored this part of it. Thank you for your prayers & support! 
“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.” Ephesians 1:5
Love,
Paul & Emily
