We are adopting!!
Jeff and I have been married 14 years. In 2005 we had a beautiful wedding and joyously started our life together. In each other we had found our person and our future. After we were married for a few years we decided it was time to start trying for a baby. Starting a family together was something we had been dreaming of. We were excited and hopeful and stoked on the possibility the future held, but some times even the best laid plans don't always work out the way you want.
As most of you know we have struggled with fertility issues for years. And even though we have seen multiple doctors and have had multiple tests no one could ever help us get pregnant or even give us a reason as to why we can't get pregnant. We lived our lives in a state of limbo for too many years, and because of that we decided a few years ago having a child and being parents was not in our future. What we didn't realize is that while we had resigned ourselves to never having a child, we had not reconciled ourselves to it. We still longed to have a child. Once we came to that realization we made the most important decision of our lives.
We started the adoption process early in 2019 and are currently in the magic area of having been approved to adopt and waiting to be matched with an expectant mother.
Now that we have been approved the images in our heads of what our future will look like with a child are so clear it is like they have already happened. I can see a tiny butt in a onesie cradled in Jeff's tattooed arms. I can see this child's amazing grandparents bouncing them on their laps while looking at them with nothing by love in their eyes. I can hear my brother helping to teach them to take care of themselves, but promising to always be there for them.
We want to pass on all the ideals that we hold dear to a child. We want to share all of the love that we have with a child. We long to instill in a child what makes each of us unique and strong and kind so that one day that child will be unique and strong and kind. We want to hear a tiny human call us Mom and Dad and have that tiny human know that they can rely on us completely. We want this child to be surrounded by the love and support of our family and friends. But ultimately, we want to a raise an amazing child, who will grow into a phenomenal and decent adult who will make the world a better place just by being in it.
But the costs of adoption are off the charts. There are fees for services most people have never heard of, not to mention, fees for things as mundane as classes, finger printing, background checks, etc. The average domestic adoption costs the adoptive parents between $35,000 - $50,000. Ours is no exception.
The financial aspect of this process is overwhelming to say the least. It is the one piece of this process that truly scares us. We have discussed and thought about asking for financial help long and hard. We know all too well how touchy a subject money is. We really needed to be sure we were comfortable with this option. We know most people do not ask for financial help when it comes to pregnancy/having a child. But most people don't have to adopt to make their dreams of being parents a reality. Nor do most people face the monumental costs associated with this journey to parenthood that we do.
The old adage of 'it takes a village' is so true. it has become apparent to us that we are not on this journey alone. You are all on this journey with us. We hope that by inviting you even deeper into this process, you will see yourself as even more a part of the community we already have rallying around us and our soon to be child. We hope you know how much each and everyone of you means to us and how all of you have touched our lives. We also hope you know that even if you can not donate your love and support do not and will not go unnoticed.
