Welcome to our Baby Journey!
We are Sheryl and Bobby, and we live in Lafayette, Indiana. We have been together for almost 21 years, and married for 14.5 years. I was born with healthy ovaries, but without a uterus or upper cervix: a condition called MRKH Syndrome. We are passionate about Infertility education, and here is our story.
Before January 2020, we were on a path to our Baby via IVF and Gestational Surrogacy, and we would have been considered the Intended Biological Parents. Our first cycle of IVF was in September 2017, and out of 13 follicles retrieved, there were 9 mature eggs, of which 8 were fertilized via ICSI (one sperm injected into each egg). 5 embryos made it to Day 3, and 2 made it to the Day 6 Blastocyst stage. We had them PGS-tested and frozen: one chromosomally-normal Boy, and one Girl who had non-mosaic Monosomy 16, which means that all of her biopsied cells resulted with only one chromosome 16.
We were blessed to find our first Gestational Surrogate. She had a similar sense of humor as us, and had been a great sport about the entire process. We transferred Baby Boy on May 25th, 2018, and unfortunately our first Embryo Transfer was not successful. We grieved pretty intensely.
We picked ourselves up and headed into our second cycle of IVF June 2018. This time, our of 12 follicles retrieved, there were only 6 mature eggs, of which 3 fertilized via ICSI. 2 embryos made it to Day 6 Blastocysts, who we froze without doing PGS testing this time around, because of the possible damage the biopsy for PGS may have caused the previous Embryos.
We changed doctors, changed clinics, and changed Surrogates (a very complicated story). We transferred one frozen Embryo from our second cycle of IVF on March 19th, 2019, and by April 1st, we found out that our second Embryo Transfer was not successful.
We went back to our first doctor for our third cycle of IVF, which was intended to be a Fresh Embryo Transfer. This is where the embryos that are transferred don't go through the freezing process. On December 5th, 2019, 9 follicles were retrieved, and none fertilized. Complete and utter devastation. Meanwhile, our Surrogate was on medications for an Embryo Transfer a few days away, so we did the next best thing: we transferred Baby Girl from IVF Cycle #1 and the second untested Embryo from IVF Cycle #2. On December 20th, we were confirmed pregnant via blood test. We had 6 Ultrasounds in 2 weeks, and on January 21st, 2020 (my birthday), it was determined that we miscarried. We sent the fetal tissue for genetic testing: Baby was a chromosomally-normal Boy. Bobby named him A.J., and he is buried in our Memorial Garden.
I have always been very interested in a water birth, and I will probably never get to experience delivering and holding my own biological newborn. As an Intended Mother, I have had to accept this Journey as it comes - so many dreams have been lost, and at the same time, we have been blessed in so many other ways that I never thought possible. All of our friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and MRKH family have been absolutely incredible in the support they offer us.
We are open about our IVF costs because infertility is still a taboo subject, and we want to educate how truly expensive it is for us who suffer from Infertility.
Here are our total IVF costs:
- $26,515.72 for IVF Cycle #1
- $10,529.67 for Embryo Transfer #1
- $22, 470.10 for IVF Cycle #2
- $6,154.83 for Embryo Transfer #2
- $55,458.63 for IVF Cycle #3, Embryo Transfer #3, and Pregnancy/Miscarriage
Total: $121,128.95
We have been fortunate to have our health insurance cover $33,269.22, and our Surrogate's insurance helped us out with $15,905.90 of the pregnancy. Between June 2018 and June 2019, we held 6 yard sales, where friends and family donated items to sell, and all proceeds went toward the costs of IVF. We took out a Signature Loan and a loan against my vehicle to help support the costs of IVF. The rest has been out-of-pocket expenses.
Our IVF Journey has had quite a few amazing moments. And it has also been ridden with chaos, negative experiences, severe trauma, emotional exhaustion, financial exhaustion, and complete devastation. It is for these reasons that we are taking a much different path to parenthood: Adoption!
We are taking two avenues to help us become parents faster. We hired an Adoption Attorney to both promote our Adoption Profile and to handle the legal "stuff". Here is our Profile on their website: https://www.indianaadoption.com/meet-waiting-families/#/profile/6024b8592b0f7775be1df71d. We were so impressed with our Adoption Coordinator during our Home Study, that we also hired her Agency, Gifts of Grace, to also promote our Adoption Profile. We're still waiting to get our Profile on their website.
Once we are matched with our Expectant Mom, we hope to share the joys and the sorrows with her, and remain in contact after birth. We hope to have a warm and friendly relationship together with her and her family, with healthy boundaries, resulting in many genuine memories. Our relationship will be flexible, and evolve as the process evolves to allow us to balance all of our needs.
We are beyond excited and are doing everything we can to be prepared to welcome a beautiful new life into our home. As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal of $30,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.
We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as part of the community we hope to build around our child as he/she grows up.
We appreciate all of your help and support!
Peace and Love,
Sheryl and Bobby
