We have BIG news! (drumroll please…)
We are adopting and starting our family!
We are beyond excited and are doing everything we can to be prepared to welcome not only one, but hopefully two (twins.. or open for more) bundles of joy into our loving home.
As part of our adoption process, we have started this crowdfunding campaign. While we keep looking up at the sky for a stork to stop on our roof, it may surprise you to hear that adoption-related costs can easily total up to $65,000, to $100,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal of $50,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms families looking to adopt.
We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as weaving into our fabric of family we hope to build around our children as they grow up.
What started off with hands on hips, a slow look around the walls and ceiling, with a wonder of "what if" to get a feel for the "nice little bedroom upstairs" as the realtor pointed out years ago gradually changed with each brushstroke of primer on the walls months later, and most recently transformed with the arrival of some baby furniture into the rush of intertwining stillness-meets-anticipation prior to excitement on the way.
Excitement that 'one day' will be 'soon'.
That 'soon' will be... well, we don't know the specific date yet.
For now, 'soon' means 'tomorrow', and tomorrow is hope-filled and closer than ever before.
Tomorrow is building and growing, one piece at a time, one donation at a time, thanks to you.
Thank you, once again, to each and every single one of you who have helped us continue in this process of 'one day' to 'soon', with 'tomorrow' on our horizon in the adoption process.
Thank you for your generosity of donation, and helping spread the word.
Kindness from family, friends, and complete strangers goes a long way to helping our family grow.
If you've read along but have not clicked the green heart button yet, please consider doing so. Please know that the adoption process costs tens of thousands of dollars more than our goal, and that we are using every penny to make this dream come true. To those who have donated clothing, strollers, rockers, crib, gift cards, advice for how and when and how and how?! and REALLY how in your experience as mothers and fathers... heartfelt thank you!
This week we had the JOY of receiving furniture from family who inherited the pieces from family that used them nearly twenty years ago. We had the JOY of hauling a changing table/dresser combination up the stairs, around the tight staircase turn at the landing, and easing it around the corner into the baby's bedroom. We had the JOY of huffing, puffing, and putting in the work to hike the baby's armoire up and (you got it? yup.. got it, I'm holding it..) out of the back of the mini van and into the house and up those soft carpeted steps upstairs. What you see in the photo attached is that glimmer of newfound hope. House? Home. The poetics grow and write themselves of stories soon to be lived. What you see is the beginning of wondering what outfits will hang on the rack. What onesies will be folded into the drawers. What ruffled dresses, matching bows, little suspenders or bowties will be visible when we open those doors 'soon'... wait, no, 'tomorrow'.
We are excited for what tomorrow holds.
With patience.
With perseverance.
As a reminder, all donations given to our page are IRS approved 501(c)(3) tax deductible.
Save your receipts...
Thank you again for your generosity, for donating and making a difference that will have generations-worth of impact.
Adventure.
Adventure has its up's, down's, inside out's and upside down's. Life is an incredible adventure. This update features a spotlight on our deciding to work with a dedicated Adoption Lawyer, and not the typical agency model you might see more regularly.
Let's rewind to the earlier days of the process. What you see here, today, has been a while in the making.
In the process (get used to reading that word, "process", a thousand times) of figuring out first steps, we looked near and far - from close family with experience, family friends, coworkers, web searches, and international connections. We looked. We listened. We spent time. Hours? Days? Time. Hours became days. Days became weeks and weeks became "ok, here we are".. time became here and now. Time is a process. Adoption is a process. Learning about it, hearing stories - successful, heartbreaking, inspiring, gutting, hopeful and heartwarming - all the varieties became a process of diligence and prayer and sometimes head-scratching "how can something so beautiful be so challenging in the United States?"
Some agencies we reached out to were closed. Website on... but nobody home.
Some agencies we reached out to were no longer accepting new families. The wait time for potential successful pairings was too long (years) and the waiting list too deep of families waiting their turn.
Some agencies we reached out to had brilliant websites with no person to connect with, yet the "send first payment" of $8-10,000 to connect with them clicked and connected just fine.
New Jersey's own Safe Haven system? Currently synced with families dating back to 2017.
Agencies were quoting us costs and "well, actually we don't write it on the website, but it's realistically not $40,000... it could easily be over $90-$100,000 or more. We do not have that money. At all. Emphasis, at all.
We would have to sell the loving house we live in in order to afford to sit waiting, years away, for a glimmer of hope?!
The bedroom across from ours is quiet.
We long to hear the sound of babies laughter. (Yes, even the 2AM diaper change notices too...)
We cannot wait to hear footsteps running up and down the hall.
We dream of days spent outside in our wonderful backyard with sunshine and smiles.
I'm sorry, but the abject bureaucracy and speed bumps witnessed in learning how to do this were not good enough to accept as excuses for giving up on our dreams and hopes of starting a family.
We kept calling. We kept searching. One agency local to us not only picked up the phone, but actually listened. They took the time to connect some dots that don't show up on their website or brochures.
We learned about Adam, the lawyer -they- use often for adoption cases.
Unlike the waiting room model of the agency pairings... Adam proactively searches near and far domestically to connect women looking to find adoptive parents to us, directly. Adam has decades of experience, and is known in multiple states, in multiple hospitals, in multiple social work agencies as someone who is a magician at matchups and connecting children to loving homes. Adam is also more affordable than the agency model.
We called Adam. He picked up, immediately. (Side-note: Worth mentioning that Adam texts, emails, or answers telephones quicker than teenage sitcom actors do on television or whatever show you're watching these days.. Impressive!) We had questions for him, and he patiently listened and replied to each one.
We signed up to work with Adam. Afterward we signed up with a New Jersey licensed adoption agency for our home study - and after all the interviews, background checks, references, documents dug up, conversations, meetings in person, meeting at home - were approved! Adam is now in the process of helping send us leads to potential matches. He helps us filter out scammers. (How sad is that?!) He helps us connect with the potential matchup's medical teams. Adam is incredible to work with.
We are both confident, and comfortable working with Adam thus far.
We have HOPE in our adventure.
We are also saving money, that we legitimately do not have, by working with him.
It is a blessing and honor to connect with you, dear reader, through Adopt Together, as their platform exists to help families such as ours.
Our hearts are FULL.
Our hope and dreams are real.
Our love is overflowing.
Our bank accounts do not have the ,000's associated with the expensive reality that adoption costs unfortunately.
Fortunately, friends like YOU are God-sent to help us with a fundraising platform such as this.
Please know your generosity is truly appreciated and you are directly helping us get those chubby cheeks smiling and cooing and laughing in this home one day... soon enough.
Stay tuned for more updates, and please - spread the word - the adventure continues!
June 6th: What a moment it was to see the smile on our home study case-worker's face as she finished reading her formal report stating that we are approved to proceed with adoption! With tears in our eyes, and laughter filling the room we hugged and high-fived and felt our hearts swell even more in hope and loving joy. In a journey of a thousand miles, we were one HUGE step closer! What a blessing and encouraging milestone as we now continue our wonderful adventure with our adoption lawyer, Adam.
We look forward to posting more and filling you in with the many ups, downs, maybes and more to come!
