Hello! We are the Oxendale Family. Jacob, Eden, Weston, and our foster daughter (10) and foster son (4).
If you know us, you know we have been foster parents for 3.5+ years. We felt this calling on our lives to open up our hearts and our home to provide temporary care for foster children back in 2020. Shortly after, we began the process to become certified in our state and were officially licensed in February of 2021. Our goals were to keep sibling groups together and to support biological families in healthy reunifications. If we have had the honor of having you walk closely in our fostering journey the past 3.5 years you know it has been anything but easy, straight forward, or to plan!
Well our "plan" has changed drastically and we have found ourselves in a place of needing to raise funds for legal representation, and pretty quickly! Our kiddos plan is moving toward adoption and we have agreed to be their adoptive placement. Without going into great detail (in order to protect the privacy of their case) the decision to hire an attorney was not made hastily, easily, or without seeking a lot of wise counsel from multiple professionals, family, and friends. Even though adoption through foster care is supposed to be "free,” we have found ourselves in a unique situation where it is going to cost us 50k+.
If you have the pleasure of knowing our two blondies, you know they have both been with us (off and on) since almost the beginning of our foster journey. For the past 4 years of their lives they have spent it in and out of the foster care system all that time uncertain of what the future holds. Sadly, the state has not done a great job at advocating or protecting our sweet girl and boy's best interest. Because of this, permanency being solidified truly looks like a far off destination with DSS having no timeline or solid plan. Therefore, one of the biggest reasons we were advised to seek legal assistance is to get the state to do what they are supposed to be doing in order for our kiddos to FINALLY know for certain where they will spend Christmas, know where they will grow up, be able to start a school year knowing they will finish the school year in that same school, plan a birthday party without fear of being moved, maintain a healthy relationship with their biological family, make deep friendships without fear of losing them - overall, be given the freedom and innocence of childhood that they both have yet to experience.
We are asking that you prayerfully consider giving financially to support our family in this unexpected season we find ourselves in. We have seen God move mountains in our kid's lives the last (almost 4) years and we believe He's not done yet!
First off, we apologize for not giving an update sooner. So much has transpired in the past few months and life has gotten in the way of taking a moment to type an adequate update.
Over the past few months, our lawyers have been putting in the work to get our case moving along! As some of you know, we had a three day trial scheduled to start November 4. Unbeknownst to us, God began moving in the hearts of the bio parents and they reached out to us about what an open adoption agreement would look like. With the help of our lawyers, us, birth parents, and their lawyers we were able to draft an agreement that was signed by all parties! This agreement establishes visitation and communication expectations in the years to come along with the agreement that they were relinquishing their rights as legal parents. Our desire and hope has been and continues to be to maintain a healthy relationship between the blondies, their mom and dad, bio siblings, and other extended family.
Just this past Monday, November 4, our previously scheduled 3 day trial turned into a one hour hearing! This one hour encompassed our lawyers putting the agreement on the record as well as in person testimony by Eden. This testimony included how we've seen the kids grow and developed over the past few years and how a bond has been built between not only us and the blondies, but with Wes as well. A court order was ordered by the judge which consists of terminating the rights of the bio parents and allowing the kiddos to continue living with us as we move forward finishing up all the adoption paperwork. Adoption day is projected to take place in the next 4-12 months and will be our next and FINAL court hearing.
If you have walked this journey closely with us you know of the immense amount of faith we have been asked to have, but in contrast the complete mountains we have seen moved. This adoption agreement has saved us thousands of dollars in legal fees and immeasurable amounts of unknowns, waiting, and stress. Because of your generous financial support we will close this case with $0 in debt - which was unimaginable just a few months ago. There are not enough words to express our family's deepest gratitudes of your complete outpouring of prayers, financial support, words of encouragement, and emotional comfort over these past 4 years but especially these past few months. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!
Even though the light of adoption is shining brightly at the end of the tunnel - we ask that you would join us in prayer over these specific things:
- pray for bio mom and dad as they have just made one of the bravest yet hardest decisions for the well being of their children. Pray that they would find support within their community, that they would follow Jesus closely and cling to Him in the days and years to come.
- Pray for our blondies as they process and grieve the loss of forever with their first family. As wonderful as it is to celebrate adoption, every adoption starts with a family being broken apart. Pray that the Lord, with the help of professionals, would give us guidance as we lead them through this new territory.
- Pray for our family as we adjust to not living in a constant state of unknown. Pray that we would have a season of rest, reassurance, and healing as we can plan something a month in advance for the first time in years, know where our kiddos will be next school year, and just learn how to live in the present.
