Dear Friends & Supporters,
We are beginning the process of domestic infant adoption and would love your support in this process. Since Chris was adopted (as an infant from India), we know firsthand the positive impact adoption can have on a child’s life, and have always had it in mind for part of our family building process. We persevered through the adventure that was getting married during the global pandemic and have been trying to start our family for the last couple of years. As we have navigated through infertility issues this past year, the conversation about adopting someday for a second kid shifted to the idea of building our family through adoption now. And since we have not been able to have a baby of our own, at this point in time we strongly desire the experience of raising an infant to experience all those early milestones with them.
If you know Deborah, you know she has always had a heart for kids. She can often be found making silly faces at and entertaining whatever child is in the room and has long dreamed of the day she would have a child of her own. If you know Chris, you know he has been elementary school teacher for almost a decade and is ready to upgrade from uncle status to dad.
It may surprise you that the average cost of domestic infant adoption in the United States can range from 50K to 80K. It certainly was a surprise to us! It is for this reason that we are asking our family, friends, faith community and supporters to consider donating to help ease the financial burden we never anticipated would be involved in building our family.
The fees which adoption agencies collect are so high because they cover:
You can play an integral part in helping us realize our dreams of becoming parents and enable us to provide a loving home for a child in need. We have chosen to use this specific crowdfunding platform so that any donations you choose to make are tax deductible. (You can also give to the foundation via check or charitable giving platform.)
Your love, support, and prayers mean more to us than you know.
Love,
Deborah & Chris
October 2024 Edit: The projected budget for our adoption is higher, since it is a California match, than we were initially prepared for. So we have raised the fundraising threshold.
We are just a little over three weeks away from meeting our baby girl! Birth mom is scheduled to be induced on the morning of the 27th. And it's all starting to feel very real!
We talked to our social worker today to help us know what to expect during hospital time and mentally prepare for how flexible we might need to be. Birth mom's opinions could change a lot in the heat of the moment. The hospital could be very used to dealing with an adoption or situation, or with it being the holidays and heading into a weekend, we might be working with hospital staff who are unclear what is okay or not okay since it isn't *our* baby despite what we expect.
We will learn more about birth mom's specific plan (at this point) next week, but our conversations so far suggest her hope is that we would have baby for the hospital time before discharge. Hospitals sometimes give adoptive parents their own room and sometimes there is some sort of resting area near the nursery that's not quite a full room. From what we hear from birth mom it is a nice hospital!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your encouragement in this journey throughout the year and especially as we head into these final weeks with our hopes so close to being realized. You all have already done so much to help us get ready for welcoming a baby into our lives, but if you want to know how you can help now that it's a reality and not just an idea, here a few links.
This form is for local folks who are wanting to offer tangible helpful things, or if you would like to be added to the Meal Train sign up: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe9_U6f05x4VCeqRtVivJAAR6HVcvYVTpTkKw5E_CHnO8lGjQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
There are items on registries at Babylist (https://my.babylist.com/baby-woo-miller) and Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/deborah-woo-miller-chris-miller-january-2025-campbell/2864NEDC5R3XF)
It's hard to believe that we could be just a month away from being parents. We had a wonderful in-person visit in San Luis Obispo with the birth mom. We heard more about what activities she enjoyed as a kid, including swimming and basketball, so Chris may get his dream of having a kid to practice 3-pointers with!
After Thanksgiving, there will be conversations with social workers to better understand what hospital time might look like. Currently, they expect to induce the baby on Christmas Day! We are a little surprised that if they are scheduling something they would choose Christmas, but it could be really sweet if that happens since Chris' birthday is also Christmas.
This week we'll start transitioning the second bedroom from our guest room/office towards a nursery set-up. We still feel hesitant to completely set-up the nursery in case things change. It really is such a strange time, wanting to do everything we can to be ready and yet also needing to try to emotionally prepare for the possibility of traveling to the Central Coast at Christmas and coming home with empty arms.
For now we remain grateful--- for the incredible support of our community, for the time we have had to get to know the birth mom, for receiving a match in California--and hopeful that we will in fact get to close out 2024 as a family of three.
-Deborah and Chris
P.S. Some have been asking, and it is the season of deals, so here are out two registries:
- Babylist: my.babylist.com/baby-woo-miller
- Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/deborah-woo-miller-chris-miller-january-2025-campbell/2864NEDC5R3XF?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_7326Y08EEGVTSF2G26G3
It's hard to believe it's been almost a month since we received a match and just about two months until the expected arrival of a precious baby girl. We have had two hour-long conversations, a few shorter phone calls, and exchanged many text messages with the birth mom since our initial introduction call. After each conversation, we feel more and more sure that adoption is the best for everyone involved and less worried about the potential for disruption, but we still try to hold room in our hearts for the possibility she could still change her mind. In periodic texts we are getting windows into her daily life with her other kids and she is getting a window into the life the baby will have with us. We are planning to visit her over the Veteran's Day holiday to have an in person connection before hospital time (and the craziness of the holidays).
One of the beautiful things about this process and getting to know birth mom is how encouraging it has been in our faith, her faith, and the faith of those around us. Every week we ask her if there are specific things we can be asking our church small group to help pray for and we have seen so many of those prayers answered in tangible ways. Just like this match situation as a whole, we see God showing us he is listening to our prayers for things both big and small, and reminding us of His great love for us.
Late November the social workers will start to work to clarify what the plan is for the hospital. Sometimes birth moms want the little bit of time there is at the hospital to be with the baby themselves, others know that will only make saying goodbye harder for them, and want the baby handed to the adoptive family right away. Sometimes hospitals will give the adoptive parents their own room. There's a lot of intricacies related to paper work, insurance, and initial medical decision making that need to be ironed out. But we are hopeful given our communication and relationship building so far that a plan will be developed that feels honoring of everyone.
With hope,
Deborah and Chris
It's been a bit of emotional roller coaster the last couple of weeks. After hearing nothing from our agency for the first couple of months of our profile being live, we got contacted about two different scenarios that were beyond the parameters of what we would feel comfortable with in terms of medical needs and opportunity budget. We were actually planning to write an update to you all about that and ask for your continued prayers as we wait, but then this week had an exciting twist!
Since Chris has the week off from teaching, we used some hotel points for a getaway to the Central Coast. With spotty reception, we missed a call from our agency on Tuesday until it was too late to call back (they're in Kansas City area.)
When we called back Wednesday morning, we learned there was a birth mom in California(!!!) who was interested in talking to us. We were in shock since we have been assuming this whole time that we will likely have to travel to another state to build our family. The agency arranged for a call for us and the birth mother for Thursday morning and we tried to not get our hopes up too much as we went about our day on Wednesday.
This morning we had a lovely, almost hour long getting to know you chat with the birth mom. We thought the conversation went well, that we were able to be genuine in our responses, and were hopeful that the mom felt a sense of connection as well. We were absolutely floored when we got a phone call less than 30 minutes later from the agency letting us know that the birth mom would like to move forward! There's been a lot of "Is this real?" and happy tears today.
We are still a bit in shock and there is still a long road ahead -- birth mom could change her mind before the due date early next year, California allows a long window of revocation even after birth, and there are several months between placement and adoption finalization.
Conventional wisdom would be to hold this information, and all the hope and excitement it is stirring, a little closer to our chest for a while. But you all have been so supportive and instrumental in making this journey possible, we wanted to share the exciting news with you now! And for those of you have been praying, please keep praying for the road ahead!
Our Adoptive Family Profile is live! You can view our whole family profile that birth parents will see at https://tinyurl.com/woo-miller-profile
We invite your prayers for our profile making it way the to the right birth parent and for us as we enter the very strange waiting period of not knowing when we will get a call and what state it might be from!
Matched by Tom and Judy Tsao
