Dear Friends & Supporters,
We are beginning the process of domestic infant adoption and would love your support in this process. Since Chris was adopted (as an infant from India), we know firsthand the positive impact adoption can have on a child’s life, and have always had it in mind for part of our family building process. We persevered through the adventure that was getting married during the global pandemic and have been trying to start our family for the last couple of years. As we have navigated through infertility issues this past year, the conversation about adopting someday for a second kid shifted to the idea of building our family through adoption now. And since we have not been able to have a baby of our own, at this point in time we strongly desire the experience of raising an infant to experience all those early milestones with them.
If you know Deborah, you know she has always had a heart for kids. She can often be found making silly faces at and entertaining whatever child is in the room and has long dreamed of the day she would have a child of her own. If you know Chris, you know he has been elementary school teacher for almost a decade and is ready to upgrade from uncle status to dad.
It may surprise you that the average cost of domestic infant adoption in the United States can range from 50K to 80K. It certainly was a surprise to us! It is for this reason that we are asking our family, friends, faith community and supporters to consider donating to help ease the financial burden we never anticipated would be involved in building our family.
The fees which adoption agencies collect are so high because they cover:
You can play an integral part in helping us realize our dreams of becoming parents and enable us to provide a loving home for a child in need. We have chosen to use this specific crowdfunding platform so that any donations you choose to make are tax deductible. (You can also give to the foundation via check or charitable giving platform.)
Your love, support, and prayers mean more to us than you know.
Love,
Deborah & Chris
October 2024 Edit: The projected budget for our adoption is higher, since it is a California match, than we were initially prepared for. So we have raised the fundraising threshold.
We're nearing the end of our first week as new parents! Chris has become a master at mixing bottles, we all are getting some long stretches of sleep, and we are definitely ready for when we can get past the required wake to feed every few hours time. (And perhaps too hopeful about how much more sleep it might mean!)
On top of all the things to navigate getting used to life with a newborn, this week has entailed lots of paperwork which is *really* fun when you're running on limited sleep. But things are moving along in the adoption process.
We are grateful for the ways you have all cheered us on through this journey so far and relish your prayers as we continue on through the coming months, overjoyed but oh so sleepy!
Our baby girl was born at 6:03pm on December 27th. After a long day of waiting for any news from social workers or the hospital, we arrived about 25 minutes before her birth. And then we waited a little longer to meet her while her birth mom did the bravest and hardest thing anyone will ever have to do and say goodbye. We met our precious Abigail at 10:25pm.
So far there’s been a little sleep, a little milk, some diapers, and a lot of cute noises while we stare at this little bundle of joy.
Thank you for making this little miracle possible.
Time has been passing very strangely as we have gone through December, with the days both flying and crawling by as we have approached the induction date. We squeezed in some last birthday celebrations for Deborah (the 14th) and Chris (today, Christmas!) amidst trying to get things ready in the apartment for the baby. Meeko has been very disoriented by the constant shifting of furniture and new things appearing in the apartment or favorite chairs leaving for good.
Sunday someone gave Deborah a perfect analogy for how these final days feel: it's like being on the up part of the roller coaster. That feeling you get in your stomach that's both excitement and anxiety. I get motion sick pretty easy, so anytime someone convinces me to go on a "mild" roller coaster, that up part for me is a lot of "I chose to get on this ride right?" "This is going to be fun...I hope/think"
Thursday morning we head down to SLO and Friday morning we head to the hospital. It's so hard to wrap our heads around, that in less than 48 hours we could be holding our baby and in a few days we could be ringing in the New Year as a family of three.
Grateful to have you on this journey with us and wishing you a Merry Christmas!
We are just a little over three weeks away from meeting our baby girl! Birth mom is scheduled to be induced on the morning of the 27th. And it's all starting to feel very real!
We talked to our social worker today to help us know what to expect during hospital time and mentally prepare for how flexible we might need to be. Birth mom's opinions could change a lot in the heat of the moment. The hospital could be very used to dealing with an adoption or situation, or with it being the holidays and heading into a weekend, we might be working with hospital staff who are unclear what is okay or not okay since it isn't *our* baby despite what we expect.
We will learn more about birth mom's specific plan (at this point) next week, but our conversations so far suggest her hope is that we would have baby for the hospital time before discharge. Hospitals sometimes give adoptive parents their own room and sometimes there is some sort of resting area near the nursery that's not quite a full room. From what we hear from birth mom it is a nice hospital!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your encouragement in this journey throughout the year and especially as we head into these final weeks with our hopes so close to being realized. You all have already done so much to help us get ready for welcoming a baby into our lives, but if you want to know how you can help now that it's a reality and not just an idea, here a few links.
This form is for local folks who are wanting to offer tangible helpful things, or if you would like to be added to the Meal Train sign up: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe9_U6f05x4VCeqRtVivJAAR6HVcvYVTpTkKw5E_CHnO8lGjQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
There are items on registries at Babylist (https://my.babylist.com/baby-woo-miller) and Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/deborah-woo-miller-chris-miller-january-2025-campbell/2864NEDC5R3XF)
It's hard to believe that we could be just a month away from being parents. We had a wonderful in-person visit in San Luis Obispo with the birth mom. We heard more about what activities she enjoyed as a kid, including swimming and basketball, so Chris may get his dream of having a kid to practice 3-pointers with!
After Thanksgiving, there will be conversations with social workers to better understand what hospital time might look like. Currently, they expect to induce the baby on Christmas Day! We are a little surprised that if they are scheduling something they would choose Christmas, but it could be really sweet if that happens since Chris' birthday is also Christmas.
This week we'll start transitioning the second bedroom from our guest room/office towards a nursery set-up. We still feel hesitant to completely set-up the nursery in case things change. It really is such a strange time, wanting to do everything we can to be ready and yet also needing to try to emotionally prepare for the possibility of traveling to the Central Coast at Christmas and coming home with empty arms.
For now we remain grateful--- for the incredible support of our community, for the time we have had to get to know the birth mom, for receiving a match in California--and hopeful that we will in fact get to close out 2024 as a family of three.
-Deborah and Chris
P.S. Some have been asking, and it is the season of deals, so here are out two registries:
- Babylist: my.babylist.com/baby-woo-miller
- Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/deborah-woo-miller-chris-miller-january-2025-campbell/2864NEDC5R3XF?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_7326Y08EEGVTSF2G26G3
Matched by Tom and Judy Tsao
