Tommy & Ashley G.

Updates

• Update 19

  

  Waiting is Not Easy....

  March 7, 2026

  Here we are just a few months later to provide an update to our adoption process. We reached out to our agency at the beginning of February and have been having some trouble with consistent communication with them. The same update as it has been the last few times: your book is being shown, all is well, time for your home study update. We have completed the paperwork for our upcoming home study update and are just waiting on our agency to contact us to tell us the next steps. Waiting is not easy.

  If you are an educator, parent or just enjoy children's books, you may know the Author Mo Willems. He is the author of the Elephant and Piggie books as well as the Pigeon books. One of his books is titled "Waiting is Not Easy!". That is how both of us are feeling right now. Waiting is not easy.

  These last few months since Tommy's surgery have been beautiful, heart-breaking, and have helped us grow closer to God, even in our frustrations and sadness. Tommy's surgery went very well! His instant relief of pain in his spine was incredible! Even through some struggles at the early stages of recovery, all was well, and he was able to take time off from work to recover. We got to spend so much time with each other, friends, and family. So many people showed us love and support as he was recovering and Ashley was doing most things around the house. He continues to do well and will have a follow-up appointment this summer to see what more has improved since Spinal Surgery does take time to heal.

  In addition to this great relief and hope, we had some other news shared. Ashley's brother and his wife shared the most wonderful news with us in early December- "We're pregnant!". Oh how much joy we had! Also, how much sadness it brought us! What a wonderful gift to become parents and give us the opportunity to be an aunt and uncle, but dear God why not us? The 3 days after they told us were so hard. They wanted to tell Ashley's parents in person, but they were out of town so we had to wait to talk to them. We went over as soon as we could after they told them and we both cried. We cried so hard. We have learned how to navigate our friends, extended family, and coworkers announcing pregnancies, but this was new territory and we did not know how we would react until we heard the news. We are SO excited for them and with them! They have been so understanding and wonderful as we share with them that any tears they may see are a reflection of our own sadness in not being able to start a family and not a reaction to their happiness and joy. We are so excited to welcome Baby Slay in August!
  We really do not know of God's plan, but we are sure being tested if we are trusting Him.

  Tommy returned to work at Amazon on January 5th. He was coming home tired, but not in as much pain as he was prior to surgery. On January 28th, he was let go. Unexpectedly. First thing in the morning. No Job Lined Up. We did not know what we were going to do. Our home study update was coming up. We needed to fill out a financial statement and Tommy had just lost his job. He went home immediately and began applying. He applied to easily more than 100 positions in a 2 day time-frame. We lost our health insurance on January 31st. Just 3 days after he was let go. Luckily he was able to go see his doctor last minute the 29th, but that was a huge, fast change. The 1st week of his unemployment, he finally got 1 lead from a former coworker. Pools of Fun- the company he had worked for before Amazon and was at for 10 years. He had an interview less than 2 weeks after he lost his job and was hired by the end of that week. He is enjoying his new position and even leaves for a work trip in the next few days! We really know nothing of God's plan, but he sure is testing us.

  In the middle of all of this, Ashley's mom started to realize she was having a lot of symptoms that pointed to something more. This something more happened to also be Tethered Cord Syndrome. How in the world does that happen?! Ashley's mom went to the EXACT SAME doctor as Tommy did and had the EXACT SAME surgery that he had just 3 months later (almost to the day). She is doing well and has found herself in much less pain, but my goodness! These last few months have been a rollercoaster.

  As we head into the next couple of months, and are in the season of Lent, we are praying together. We are celebrating new life with family and friends. We are trying to spend less time with technology and doing things that suck our time rather than provide enrichment. We continue to pray for all of our village, our future child, and their birth families. We continue to hope, even if it is hard. We are hoping that God's plan doesn't have any more curveballs in the near future, but if it does- we will be trying to take them with patience and trust in his plan.

• Update 18

  

  Trusting in God's Timing

  November 3, 2025

  Here we are 3 months later. We reached out to our agency and to no surprise here is what they said.

  1. Your book looks great. No suggestions.
  2. Here is paperwork to complete for your home study renewal (This happens annually until we adopt.)

  Nothing else. No additional information, or hope. I think this may be the hardest part of this whole process: the wait. At this time we are thankful for this waiting period for many reasons. Some of which include us spending time together as just the two of us because when a child enters our lives, it will not only be Tommy & Ashley, but our Family. We are thankful to get additional time with family and friends and being able to have the freedom to do what we want when we want to. However, we cannot wait to welcome this child into our lives. We are excited to have a child rely on, love and be with us every single day. We continue to pray and hope in God's timing.

  Speaking of God's Timing - We had mentioned in a previous update about some changes and challenges coming our way and are now prepared to share. Over the last 2 years, Tommy has experienced some health complications. These began as minor issues and ones that seemed to tie back to an existing condition from when he was born. However, in the last 6 months (and really in the last 4), he has been going to specialists in order to figure out what is going on. After many appointments, juggling from one doctor to the next because of their expertise and finally getting some answers, we have reached a point in which we know what is going on and the next steps.

  Tommy has Tethered Cord Syndrome. This is where the spinal cord has become abnormally attached to surrounding areas resulting in negative changes in the body. One of these changes has been Tommy's inability to maintain muscle mass in his legs. There are many other changes that have occurred with him as well and it has caused him extreme amounts of pain. What was once thought to just be the status quo for him has actually been proven to have a name and ultimately a solution to the problem. While there is no guarantee that this Tethered Cord Syndrome will be "cured forever", we are hopeful that the Spinal Surgery that is scheduled for the middle of this month will provide relief in his pain, hope for the future and help in some of his physical ailments.

  What do we need? Prayers, kind words and lots of hugs from our closest family and friends. Ashley is anxious as the surgery grows nearer and Tommy is worried for many reasons.

  Some good that is coming from this adventure includes us decorating for Christmas WAY early this year and more time to enjoy our decorations, being forced to slow down in the season of holidays, get togethers and the bustle of the world, and finally being together. Tommy's recovery is going to take 6 weeks and we will be able to spend a lot of time together.

  We look forward to the day that we welcome a child into our home, but for now we are Trusting in God's Timing.

• Update 17

  

  August 2025- A Year Since our Journey Began

  August 21, 2025

  Hello all!

  Thank you for all your prayers, support and love as we continue in this journey. It has officially been a year since we began our journey towards adopting a child. We continue to hope, pray and wish for a child to enter into our lives. A birth family is out there. We know it. We will match one day, in God's time (which is proving hard to accept). We just started The Bible in a Year together and we are hoping to deepen our faith and relationship with God as we go down that journey as well. We have some potential challenges and changes coming our way, but are praying and hoping for our family to grow one day. We also have some big events happening with family such as a brother getting married and a sister moving far away for college. We have a lot to be thankful for and excited about as we continue in our day to day lives. Thank you for your continued support and love. A quick update from our agency this month!

  Our book has been shown to some birth families (did not specify how many). They are currently working with 10 adoptive families and have completed 4 successful adoptions this year. We can check in again in November. We hope to hear from them sooner than that telling us we have matched with a family, but the latest will be November with an update.

• Update 16

  

  It's the End of May!

  May 27, 2025

  We have had a busy couple of months the last few months as we continue our wait with hoping to match with a family one day. We have been keeping ourselves busy with family, friends, challenges, joys, graduations, preparations for future baby, and so much more. We were finally able to check in with our agency this month and we have some very small updates.

  1. First, our book has been shown to birth families! We do not know how many, but our book seems to have been presenting well and no feedback was given about the book.

  2. They are currently working with 12 adoptive families (those hoping to adopt) and we are one of them. They did not tell us how many birth families they are working with.

  3. There are a couple of birth families who are almost ready to start looking at books. They did not say how many or when, but that we would be in the stacks for a few of these families to look at.

  What's next? We continue to wait, hope and pray. Our next check in will be at the end of August to see how our book is doing, how many families they are still working with, etc. If we hear something sooner, it likely means that we have been matched with a family and we will update you ASAP! What do we need from our village? We need prayers, well wishes, and lots of love. We have had some personal things creep up (we are not ready to share nor want to be asked about these things) and could really use some extra prayers. Please keep us and the birth family in your prayers as we continue to wait. We are so excited to become parents one day and long for the day we bring a child home. Thank you for your love, prayers and support always. We will update again at the end of August!

• Update 15

  Last Update for a bit

  March 15, 2025

  These past two weeks we have spent time washing bedding, clothing, and dishes. We have put together things for our future baby, and have moved things around to make room for all of our child's items. Tonight we finished organizing books and diapers to be put away. Our book library brings us so much joy knowing that our child will have the opportunity to be surrounded with so many book options. We still have some items that need to find a home, but at least our nursery is now walkable and we've claimed the fireplace back from miscellaneous baby items.

  Now we wait. And wait....and wait. We did finalize our home study and have begun applying for grants, but the wait is the longest part. So far we have had a lot of people ask, "Have you heard anything?" With the answer being "No, we haven't." We've been told this part can be a very long wait with no updates except every couple of months (our next check in time is the END of May). We need to be ready for an unexpected drop in- this meaning have a car seat, bottles, diapers, wipes, some outfits, a bassinet, and other first day at home items ready to go, but also don't hold your breath for that to happen. So here we wait. And while we wait- we celebrate our life together. We continue doing the things that we love which include playing with the dog, doing projects around the house, working at The Cat Theater, and volunteering at our church. It will be helpful to us both that soon we will be busy with our Vacation Bible School and all of that planning. However, while we hope the wait is not long and hope that it goes fast, we also want to use every moment that God has given us. We don't want to wish away the time that we have of just the two of us together because we know that once a child enters our life, it will never again just be Tommy and Ashley. It will be OUR family- Us and a child (or more if we get lucky with twins!).

  All this to say, we will likely not be posting updates as frequently as we have thus far in our adoption journey. We can say to expect an update for sure at the end of May when we reach out to our agency to find out how our look book has been viewed, how many families they are working with, etc. If we hear anything before then, we will let you know! Otherwise- please know of our prayers for you. We feel so loved by our village. There are no words that can do that love and gratefulness of our village justice. Pleas continue to keep us in your prayers as well as our future child and most especially our future child's birth family. Love to you all!

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