We have BIG news!
We are adopting a child!
We are beyond excited and are doing everything we can to be prepared to welcome a beautiful new life into our home. As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal of $45,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.
We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as part of the community we hope to build around our child as he/she grows up.
Please feel no obligation to any specific amount, just sharing our story can help us to reach a wider range of people.
Let's start at the beginning….
Daniel and I know each other better than any one else. We had the blessing and hardship of spending some of our relationship as a long distance couple. We had a mix of dinner/movie dates and long conversations on Skype dates. We grew closer together as we learned everything about each other. Finally in 2010 Daniel called my father and asked permission to marry me. He proposed to me in November of 2010, on the day he was leaving to go back to Ireland after a 3 month stay. Daniel told me he didn't want to go back to Ireland one more time without knowing that he would come back to his future wife. I, of course, said yes and then drove him to the airport and we said our tearful goodbyes. Six months later Daniel made a one-way trip to the United States and we were married in April of 2012. Daniel and I did not try for a family right away. The immigration process is long and expensive and we didn't believe we were ready yet. So we waited.
In 2015 we started trying for a baby. We, like most people who try for a baby, thought it would be simple. Do what we need to do and then the next month, we would be pregnant. That's how it works, right? Wrong. One month went by and we had nothing, then two, three, four, five, six…. It seemed as though we had had a problem. That is, until one fateful day in 2016, our anniversary in fact, that 2nd little pink line that all hopeful women want to see popped up. With trembling hands and tearful eyes I presented my husband with the gift of a positive pregnancy test. We were overjoyed. We were going to be parents and couldn't wait to tell the world. We shared our news with many people right away. We just couldn't wait. Our joy was short lived…just over a week after we found out I was pregnant, I had bleeding. A trip to the emergency room brought my world down..we were no longer going to be parents. The grief that you experience after losing a baby, especially when you have no other children to comfort you, cannot be put into words. It was almost 4 years ago that I lost that baby and I still think of him or her everyday. What would they have been like, what would they have looked like? Would they have curly hair just like their Mom and Dad? That is something we will never know and the pain that comes from that will never leave me.
Although we had lost the baby, we were still hopeful we would become parents. We searched for and bought our first home, moved in and still….no second pink line, no babies for us. Although disappointed every month that Aunt Flo visited, life had to go on. In October of 2016 we got a baby of a different kind. He looks nothing like us, is covered in fur and walks on 4 legs….we rescued our puppy Duke! Although he filled our lives with joy, he simply could not fill the hole in our lives that was waiting for a child. We continued to try for a baby and got nothing until June of 2017. I wasnt feeling well and decided to test fully expecting another negative pregnancy test. To my surprise a second line popped up and just to be sure a yes popped up on a digital test. I cried to myself with excitement and got a note together that Duke was going to have for his daddy when he got home from work. Duke was the first person, yes I talk to my dogs like they're people, that I told. When Daniel came home from work Duke had a note on his collar saying he was going to be a big brother.
Once again Daniel and I were overjoyed. I was happy, but as most women who have suffered previous miscarriages will tell you the happiness is clouded with fear. Daniel immediately started talking about nurseries and names and all the exciting things while I couldn't even think about that. I had to be sure that everything was going to be ok before I could let the dreaming begin. This time we told no one but our close family members. And once again our joy was short lived. This time it was a bit more serious. I had some bleeding so I had labs done and everything seemed to be looking ok. Sometimes bleeding happens in pregnancy. That's normal. Then July 11th 2017 happened. I went to work, I was teaching summer school at the time, and had the most horrific pain I had ever experienced. The bleeding got worse and the pain was so bad it made me physically sick. I left work and drove myself to the emergency room. I sat alone in an ER waiting room, while my husband rushed to the hospital and was told that I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was too far along to give me the shot, so I would need to have surgery and unfortunately they can't just move the baby to the uterus…the baby and my tube needed to be removed. My husband held my hand as we talked to the wonderfully caring team of doctors who explained that I would need to go to the OR immediately due to the amount of blood I was losing. My parents and brother were not far away at an amusement park and they came as soon as they heard the news. I can't imagine what it was like for the doctors to walk into that room, 5 adults who were experiencing devastation. All red eyed and choked up. The doctors couldn't tell me why I had an ectopic. I was told "sometimes it just happens". They assured me that even though I had lost a tube, I would still be able to get pregnant. However here we are, 2 years and some months later and we haven't seen any more 2nd pink lines. We haven't had the joy of planning a nursery. We haven't gotten to buy baby clothes and onesies. We haven't gotten to read bedtime stories or have, as a dear friend calls it, tubbie time. We did get 2 more fur babies Tillie and Del, and just like Duke, they are deeply loved but cannot fill the hole in our hearts that is there for children.
That bring us to now. Daniel and I long to be parents. We both having lots of experience with children. I am a teacher of children with disabilities and Daniel is a big brother and loving uncle to many nieces and nephews, but we need help. Our hearts are open and ready to accept a child that needs two loving parents. The only thing that is holding us back is the cost. Although we would be open to any children, we do long for a baby as well.
Now is the time that we ask for your help. It does not need to be a monetary donation, just sharing our story will help. Daniel and I give you our deepest gratitude for anything you may be able to do to help us have a family.
