Hello, Family and Friends!
Last week my cell phone screen cracked, and my coffee got cold before I could drink it– first world problems, I know. If you’re like me, your parents used to tell you about all the poor children in China when you would complain about toys you didn’t have or food you didn’t like. Now that I am older, I have no problem eating all of my food, but the children in China are still in need, and as a mother of two healthy kids, I am still thinking about those kids in China.
My family wants to be one of the thousands of families who have adopted waiting Children from China. There is a growing percentage of special needs children waiting to find homes. Every child should have the chance to grow up in a healthy and happy environment that allows them to hold on to innocence as long as possible–no matter where or how they were born, how healthy they are, or what they look like.
My husband and I recently met an inspiring man who runs an organization with seven locations around the world that is dedicated to providing surgery, foster care, and adoption to waiting children. They show unconditional love to these children, and we want to be a part of that beauty. We want to share this life that we have been given with a child who was born into a very different environment. With your help we are hoping to raise the approximately $30,000 necessary to fund this adoption.
You are a part of our community. Whether you are family, friend, or neighbor, you will impact our future child’s life. We are so happy to have you in our lives, and we would love for you to be involved in this process with us.
Sincerely,
Shannon, Seth, Ryon, and Samuel Herndon (and Gertrude, the dog)
P.S. If you would like to donate all or part of a particular fee, please let us know that you would like to designate a gift to that specific area. Thank you again for being a part of our journey! Fees range anywhere from:
$500 Home Study Application Fee
$2000 Home Study Fee
$250 Parent Training Fee
$400 Post-Adoption Fee
$1500 Home Study Update Fee
$250 Adoption Agency Application Fee
$5000 Adoption Agency Fee
$200 Home Study Review Fee
$2000 Hague Program Fee
$550 Notarization and
Authentication Fee
$300 Chinese Authentication Fee
$3000 China Program Fee
$1450 CCCWA Registration and BLAS
$3000 Translation and Dossier
Preparation Fee
$5833 Orphanage Donation
$1724 Photo ID, Provincial Civil
Registration, and Notary
$725 Civil Affairs Fee
$400 Post-Adoption Liability Fee
$300 Validation Liability Fee
$775 USCIS
$85/each parent Biometrics
$ Unknown Travel Fees
$360 Post-Placement Report
Translation Fee
This is the adoption update I never wanted to write. So much life has happened since we first laid our eyes on an adorable, eleven-month-old Chinese baby in 2017 who we would later call Asher. We were actually going to spell it “Axur” to give him roots to his Chinese surname, Xu. Samuel has been sleeping in a bunk bed for the past several years with “Samuel” and “Axur” spelled out on the walls of his bedroom. For an impractical amount of time, we held on to all of Samuel’s outgrown clothes to hand down to Axur when he would arrive, and Samuel only used half of his drawer space and bedroom space in anticipation of sharing it all with a brother. We held on to baby bottles and then on to sippy cups, hoping to make use of them again when Axur would finally be allowed to come home with us. Like Sisyphus, we did paperwork and signed documents and underwent home studies over and over again. This process has taken seven years, and now we have to tell you it is over simply because a dictatorship has said that it is. We are sad. We are angry. We are hurt. We are disappointed. The powers that be are still doing whatever they can, and hundreds of good families and government representatives are trying to persist, but what can be done diplomatically has proven to be fruitless. All we have now is prayer.
If you haven’t seen the updates in the news, here is what we were told:
The Department of State received a notification from the People’s Republic of China (PRC) Ministry of Civil Affairs (MCA) stating the following:
...beginning August 28, 2024, except for foreigners adopting stepchildren and children of collateral relatives within three generations in China, civil affairs departments across China will no longer carry out foreign adoption work.
I suppose that all we have ever had is prayer, but now there are no additional actions to perform. It is hard to be faced with something that feels like a death. There are still pictures on our walls of a little boy who grew from a round, eleven-month-old baby to a smiley, little boy, not too different from his American-born brother. One of Samuel’s favorite pictures of Axur shows him playing with blocks, and Samuel was so excited that they had this common interest. I wish I knew how he's doing and what he looks like now since China stopped sending photos and wellness updates in 2022. I have studied the pictures of this funny toddler posing for the camera for any hints of his personality. I really really wanted to hold him and tell him how loved he is and that everything would be okay. I wanted to talk to him and learn what makes him happy and angry and curious and scared. I wanted to know what his favorite color is and what things make his eyes light up. I wanted to know what he wants for his birthday and Christmas. There is still a birthday to be celebrated every November 25th, but we have been told that our hope of celebrating with our son must be put to rest. I have been blessed not to have had a miscarriage, but I imagine (I hope this is not disrespectful to anyone who has) that some of the emotions are similar.
We have taken our time communicating this to everyone because it is very hard to process, and we wanted to know what we were doing before anyone asked us. We do not feel at this time that we should just “get another one.” Our hearts are healing, and our lives are much different now than they were seven years ago when this process began. Finances are not an obstacle wherever God leads, so that is not a factor in our decisions at this time. We are praying about what is best for our family, and if that should include adoption in the future, we will happily let you know. For right now, we have decided to sit still and wait; we will not be adopting in the near future.
We do not feel that a moment in the last seven years has been wasted time. Simply raising awareness of the orphans in China to our friends and family has been a good thing. Our fundraisers have benefitted more than just our adoption process; we have been able to bless widows in our community and made life-long friends in the process. God has given us empathy for people in the adoption community, and we are so amazed by the people who have the strength and love to make that journey their own.
Through all of this, we are not in despair. We want to acknowledge that we have been deprived and to process through the sadness, but we have hope in knowing that Axur is not alone. We are not alone. We are not walking by blind faith. God is Someone we know and trust, so trusting that He will take care of our son is not a question. We have thanked Him for providing what we need, and we have sighed in relief when He protected us. We have laughed and played with Him as He blessed us, and we have cried as He carried us. Governments and powerful entities will have selfish motives and actions, but Jesus knows how it feels to be hurt by unjust people. He has been betrayed, and He has seen His loved ones hurt. Disappointment, change, and pain are parts of life. If we had to do it all over again, we still would. We have grown so much through this. Goodness isn't always obvious; sometimes it hurts first. Thank you for supporting us along the way and for sharing our joy and our sadness.
I just completed some paperwork today, and the receptionist told me the deadline was November 25th. I almost replied, “That’s my son’s birthday.” But it got stuck in my throat. Axur’s 8th birthday will be on November 25, 2024. He is still our son, and we will still celebrate him every year. We hope that you will still pray for him.
A team of volunteers completed a unique fundraiser to help cover the cost of our adoption! On August 6, 2022, we spent the day fixing up a widow's home. We're raising sponsorship for this service project. Please donate to help bring a child home to a forever family. Both Hands-- One for the Widow. One for the Orphan.
China's covid policies are still in effect in many Chinese cities, including Beijing, so we are still not allowed to enter the country. To complete the adoption process, we need to be in China for 2 weeks to complete the paperwork at all the embassy, government, and emigration buildings. All of our other paperwork is up-to-date, and once we are allowed to complete the paperwork in Beijing, we will have legally adopted him-- he will officially be a Herndon before we leave China. It is hard to know that only one closed border is keeping us from our son, but we have learned that waiting on God's timing is the best thing we can do. He will make things good in time.
I can think of few contexts where these verses are more relatable. (Romans 8:23-28) "...we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I found an old journal entry a couple of days ago from 2017, and I hope it is as much of a blessing to others as it was to me:
Today, Samuel and Seth and I were talking about the sun and moon and stars, and Samuel noticed we couldn't see the stars "right now".
I said that we can't see the stars in the day time; we have to wait until night when it is dark enough to see them. The sky was very thick with clouds today though, so I told him he'd have to ask God nicely to push the clouds away so we could see the stars tonight.
Very clearly he said, "God, can you move the clouds?" It was such a cute and honest prayer that I told him to be patient, and we'd check the clouds again when we got out of the car.
When we got home about an hour later, we remembered the conversation. Seth and I reminded Samuel that God had heard his prayer about the clouds when we were in the car, and that he should run outside to see the stars God wanted to show him. We ran out, totally in faith because we hadn't seen the sky ourselves yet, and looked up at the sky in expectation. The sky right above our house was cloudless, and we could see several stars on the darkness. But for 360 degrees around us, there was nothing but white, thick, cloud-covered sky. The north even looked like it was piled thicker as if God's hand had literally pushed them aside like bubbles in the bathtub.
I am so excited by this "child faith." He asked nicely, then he waited patiently, and looked expectantly. He never doubted that God could hear him or wanted to interact with him. I have been praying for Samuel to love prayer, and through that love for prayer that God would be real to him.
3.7.2022
GAHHHHH. I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry I haven’t updated for almost a year, but it’s really hard to keep saying the same thing over and over. They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. Am I insane? Maybe.
You know what though? Things aren’t “the same.”
Since 2020, the world has seen a pandemic, and I think life has changed for everyone. Samuel had to end preschool and begin kindergarten online, and Ryon had to start her freshman year online. Even church was online, and because we are in charge of the sound and worship ministries, we were one of four families working to keep our church on the internet. It was a big undertaking, and we were at the church almost 5 days a week.
Finally, we decided to take advantage of the pandemic situation we were in, and we used online school as an opportunity to travel in ways we wouldn’t otherwise have been able to. We spent a week at a beach house where Ryon was able to surf between classes, and Samuel played in the sand after his kindergarten workbooks were done. Samuel and I were even able to take a trip to Virginia to see my sister and her kids while Samuel learned remotely from his laptop.
The following year, 2021, we got creative and took up new hobbies. We used our zoo passes religiously, started a paper airplane competition in the backyard, flew kites at the park, tried axe throwing at a local venue, went to Sea World, watched fireworks in the park, got a library card, and built a Lego tower taller than any we had ever built before. Seth took up golfing, if only in the backyard. Ryon started cheerleading when her 10th grade year began, and she found that she loves it. We played in Opa and Oma’s pool with all of the Jonker family. Samuel started taekwondo and is now a camo belt. In October, our family won the Trunk or Treat contest at our church as we dressed our truck up as the Hundred Acre Wood putting ground, and we dressed as characters from Winnie the Pooh. We all took a staycation to Las Vegas in November to play in a big pool and get away from our routine for a bit. For Christmas, we went to Arizona for two days to see Grandma and Grandpa and the rest of Seth’s side of the family.
We are living every day with the mindset that we could be a family of five. All of our activities are exactly as they would be if we had another little boy with us. We would, of course, modify everything according to his needs, but we remember him in everything that we do. We spend every November 25th with cupcakes and candles so that we can tell him that we celebrated him and his birthday even before he was here. We have sheets on his bed and clothes in the closet for him whenever he gets here. We are still prepared, hopeful, and prayerful.
I was really encouraged lately reading something by Elizabeth Elliot, a woman who showed great faith after her husband was murdered, and she found herself a single mother living in the middle of a jungle. That’s hard. Her encouragement is this:
“Do the next thing. Don’t sit down and think of all the things you have to do. That will kill you. It’s overwhelming. It’s daunting if you think of all the things that are involved in a task. Just pick up the next thing.”
And that is what we are doing.
Here’s the shortest version:
We are still waiting for the borders of China to open (yes, we are communicating with agencies, advocacies, and embassies--oh my!).
We are almost done renewing our home study-- again.
All other paperwork is complete and up to date--until it needs to be renewed again.
We are selling coffee as a fundraiser, and we are doing another fundraiser to fix a local widow’s home.
I like this quote that may or may not have been from Martin Luther, “If I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” It makes me consider the importance of “the next thing” that I do. Am I living every moment in a way that I won’t regret? Am I using the time that I am waiting for “good,” or am I paralyzed with fear and questions? Going to the zoo or fixing a widow’s home or making a yummy dinner or filling out paperwork or golfing or swimming or planting a tree can be the best thing we can or should do. If we are in a relationship with God, and if we are in conversation with Him, He is with us in what we are doing. Do the next thing. Don’t just wait for things to develop the way you think they should. Don’t pout when they don’t. Do the next good thing you can think of. Love your neighbor. Love God. Live in the joy He wants to give you. Life is beautiful, even the strange and unknown parts, when you follow Him.
If you are interested, here are the links to our Both Hands fundraiser to fix a widow’s home. It’s one of the best things we have ever done. This is the video we made from last time; you might be in it! https://youtu.be/Ah7EEz7jMbo
If you want to join us, call me! This is the letter for our upcoming Both Hands fundraiser in June 2022. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1suMCFegZBijqvLSdfTgFnGfYlaotjLo3/view?usp=sharing
Here’s the coffee fund raiser.
http://OurCityCoffee.com/HerndonFamily
Here’s the Elizabeth Elliot thing if you want to read it. https://storage.snappages.site/CS8HTG/assets/files/Children-Do-the-Next-Thing-by-Elisabeth--14.pdf
11.30.2020
It has been 7 months since my last update, and Asher’s 4th birthday was last Wednesday. I have been avoiding writing this one because it makes me sad to know we missed another birthday. We have been connected to him since he was only eleven months old. Every year, on his birthday, the four of us sit around a cupcake or a donut with candles stabbed into the top and sing “Happy Birthday” to Asher. We haven’t had a picture of him in about a year, and we have had no updates from the orphanage (outgoing information is heavily monitored by the communist party), but we will celebrate his life. We have been asked a few times by friends and family if we could “get another one” instead of pushing through ridiculous amounts of time and fees and paperwork.
I asked God today what He wants me to tell you. He said, “Tell them that I’m faithful.” God doesn’t give up on us. Even when it takes years of tedium, progress is hard to see, and things don’t go “right,” God is faithful. He doesn’t leave. His love endures forever. Psalm 136 sings a timeline of events where God proves Himself faithful to Israel and to every living thing. In the popular 1 Corinthians 13 passage, love endures; it is faithful; nothing is anything at all without love. God doesn’t give up when things are difficult or take a long time. He doesn’t find someone else when you do things that require Him to be patient. He is faithful. He finishes what He starts. Difficulty does not imply the absence of God; He endures in the difficulty.
We won’t ask for a different child or an easier situation because Asher is worth it. Time and resources are not wasted if they are spent enduring in love. I imagine faithfulness is always worth it to the one on the receiving end. Whatever you are enduring, God is with you. No matter how difficult or painful your situation is, and no matter how wrong or stubborn you are, God will not be the one who gives up. He’ll endure. He is faithful. He’s waiting for you and with you. Asher doesn’t even know that we love him, that we are fighting for him, and that all of you are praying for him. He probably doesn’t even know that God is planning things for him. God is better, wiser, and more loving than I am, and if I can endure and love this kiddo I don’t know, how much more does God love you? What is He planning that you don’t even know yet? Who is fighting for you that you cannot even see? Endure. God is faithful.
