We've got the biggest and most exciting news of our lives…
Our family is growing by way of open adoption.
In many ways it feels like this journey has always been in the cards. From the moment we began discussing having a family, adoption has always been a part of the conversation. Early on, we were not sure we could afford and find an agency to work with, that take care of birth families and establish loving matches through open adoption. We're overjoyed to have come to a point in our lives where we've found that exact agency and we're making it happen!
Why adoption? And why open adoption? There are so many reasons - For one, it's because we believe wholeheartedly that we are meant to be on this journey. We feel so incredibly connected to the values identified by our adoption community as it relates to love and loss, mutual respect and building a family. Because we believe open adoption is one of the most loving ways we can build our family. Above all else, love and hope is what makes a family. This doesn't just include our someday baby - it includes the individual(s) who will choose us to become parents, always and forever.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for helping us in your contribution to our adoption fund. We will never have words to express how much it means to us and our family. And thank you for coming along on our ride - we look forward to keeping you updated on our status and updates! We also hope you might feel inspired to learn more about the adoption community, how to support adoptees and birth families.
Much love, Carly & TJ
We are so happy to be able to say we've officially submitted our adoption application as well as profile!! We're anticipating that we will have at least 5 corrections to each we will need to make (typos, the wrong photos selected etc) - but we are feeling very excited to have some of the bigger parts of 'paperwork pregnancy' completed and looking ahead to the next!
Speaking of next - we're hopeful to get our home study process underway. Our home will be inspected by a social worker, but before we get there both us will be interviewed separately. The interview process is an opportunity for our assigned social worker to get to know us as individuals and give highlight to where our strengths are as prospective adoptive parents as well as where we might need education. We're feeling mostly excited about this part of the journey -- but there are some nerves about wanting to get it all right. Not just to 'pass' but also to know that we're in the right mindset for our future child and future extended family members via our child's biological parents.
A big conversation piece in our house as of late is just how layered, nuanced and complex the world of adoption is - yet so few people seem to know much about it. For one, the route we're taking via open infant domestic adoption is just one of many different routes a family may take to grow through adoption. Depending on which lens you look from (adoptee, adoptive parents, biological parents) the POV is also drastically different. This is part of the nuance and it's both very powerful and overwhelming. Not in a bad way, more so a matter of fact manner. And WE had so much to learn when we chose to become parents through adoption. We've come to the realization that like any parent, we'll be learning till our last breath.
But that is a huge beauty and collective feature about the adoption community we've come to be apart of. There is an emphasis on talking about the hard stuff, not leaving it in the shadows. There is power in leaning into the vulnerable truth of 'not knowing' so you can ask the tough questions and learn more. There is a willingness towards acknowledging the inherent loss that exists within the adoption triad (family made by adoption) so that love can meet it. And for that we will be grateful until our last breath.
So as we prepare for our next 'step' in this journey, we look forward to sharing with you our learnings, vulnerabilities, loss and love :) And THANK YOU to each of you for your generous gift towards making our journey possible. We cannot put into words the help it provides.
Last but not least - at the top is one of the photos that we got taken for our 'announcement' - sorta a silly sentiment when we've got our hearts pouring out on this page, but the pic is damn cute so we're sharing!
8/3/24
Right now we're in whats often referred to as the 'paper pregnancy' stage. We are working on our adoption application with the guidance of our agency and prepping for our home-study as well as creating our adoption profile. What we've come to realize is that a lot of people (including us at the start) - don't realize just how emotionally intensive, let alone work intensive the process is to be approved to adopt. This application is not just what our street address is and our job titles - its lengthy self assessments with questions like; "what are the most traumatic events you've experienced and how did you to cope" to "what do you expect your parenting discipline style to be?". Here's the thing - we're grateful for this, because we believe wholeheartedly that it is preparing us to be the best versions of ourselves when our child and birth family comes into our lives. We're just a few pieces away from being done with this!
For our home-study, we'll be working with an amazing social worker who is also a parent through open adoption. She'll be interviewing each of us separately to do a comprehensive assessment of our psychological, social and relational statuses. Then we have to introduce her to our rowdy pups when she comes to check out the house (we're not sure which is more intimidating ). Simultaneous to this, we'll be engaged in classes selected by our social worker that will prepare us for parenting, parenting through adoption, and maintaining the adoption triad relationship (birth family, us & baby).
The hope is, that we will keep moving through this process at a strong speed so we're considered by the state of NY as well as our agency 'active' sometime early fall ... meaning we're officially in the wait period. More on that soon and all it entails not just for us, but our eventual birth parents.
Thank you for joining our journey <3
C&T
