Carly & TJ Johnson

Updates

• Update 8

  

  The Most Profound Yes and Goodbye

  July 24, 2025

  On July 10th, the most beautiful human we’ve ever laid eyes on came earth side.
  For a short while we got to love him and share with him just how much we’ve dreamed of what he might do in this world, what he could like, what kinds of passions he might take up. We let him know that our world was changed the moment we got the call he existed and we were chosen to be on his path with him. That our world is better knowing he is here. It was the most powerful 48 hours of our lives.

  Our journey didn’t go where we had envisioned it, and although we wish it could have continued from there - his parents made the ultimate choice to parent. One we deeply respect.

  Not the update we were anticipating, but one we knew was a very firm possibility.

  For us, the utmost importance is knowing that this wonderful and magical little soul is loved beyond comprehension and we know that is exactly how he’s loved by his parents. In the few days the 5 of us spent together it was palpable how much love the 4 of us have for the sweetest child.

  While we grieve the future we had dreamed of with baby boy and had to shift a very profound relationship with two people we have grown to love over the last 7 months - we recognize that this is the point of this journey. Loving a child more than you love your own needs. It’s tremendously hard work and that's how much TJ and I love this little one. We can let go knowing that we did everything we could to help him come into this world, feel held and greeted by us and ultimately respect the love and choice of his mom and dad.

  Where does this leave us now? For now we grieve what could’ve been, we adjust where to put the love we have ongoing for who we will always see as part of our family - the sweetest July baby. Right now we’re trying to see the bigger picture in all of this. Is our journey to becoming parents over?

  No, not at all.

  And simultaneously, the imprint of the last 7 months has been life changing for us and remains deeply present.

  Through our years of being together we’ve learned that to love, means inherently to experience loss. We hope to expand a bit further in this loss, so that we can stay open hearted to what's to come.

  And forevermore, July 10th 2025 will be one of the most special days of our lives. While we he may not be ours - we will always be his.

  As we move forward we will update again, thank you for loving us through the journey.

  C&T

• Update 7

  

  Its a BOY! We're Matched! Special Request :)

  May 21, 2025

  Hi everyone,

  Our last update basically said it without saying it—but as we near a very important due date, we're thrilled to officially announce that we’re matched and have been chosen by the two most incredible, loving, and wise individuals to parent their amazing boy, who is due in mid-July.

  A little more about how this came to be...

  It was New Year's Eve afternoon. We had just completed our home study and were prepping to go live. Just as I was about to do a cold plunge in our favorite place—Lake George (for anyone who doesn't know, this has become my ridiculous extracurricular activity)—I saw a missed call from our agency.

  That call changed our lives forever already. A family wanted to meet us. The agency had pulled our profile together because we checked so many of the boxes they were looking for. In the cold of December, I cried, laughed, and thought, “OH SHIT, I NEED TO GET TJ OUT OF WORK NOW.” We made a plan to Zoom with the family that evening—a perfect way to ring in the New Year. And it was exactly that: a perfectly wonderful conversation and the beginning of the most meaningful relationship.

  To summarize the last 5.5 months is close to impossible. But what we want everyone to know is this: open adoption—one that allows for relationships like this to grow, evolve, and navigate the vulnerable and uncertain variables that come with adoption and family planning—is exactly why we chose it. These individuals are our family now. There's no other way to look at it. And we are forever grateful that they chose us.

  Which leads me to say... there is an incredibly sweet, wiggly, wonderful little boy due in mid-July whom we’ve been quietly and lovingly prepping for. We’ve felt so honored and grateful to his birth parents for allowing us to join ultrasounds and begin bonding—together, the five of us since the beginning of the New Year.

  To make things even more sentimental: he’ll be born at the University of Vermont Medical Center—the same place I was born, where my parents met and worked, and where my dad’s memorial plaque is placed. It’s all feeling a little magical, as much as it feels uncertain.

  This leads us to a little request—for help, good vibes, well wishes, and maybe some asking around on our behalf...

  The next step in this process is supporting our baby’s b-parents through delivery. The four of us have created plans so we can be a part of the experience while prioritizing their space and autonomy—just as it should be.

  If and when they choose to move forward with giving us the legal right to parent (just a reminder: they absolutely still have the choice to parent—as they should—and until the legal process begins, that doesn’t change), we will stay in Vermont for the first 10–14 days of baby boy's life. This is known as the ICPC period, during which New York and Vermont coordinate to officially designate him a NYS resident. After that, we can all head home!

  Here’s where we could use your help:

  If anyone knows of a living space for rent—even for just a few days—within 20–30 minutes of Burlington, would you mind asking on our behalf about the possibility of renting from them or even having them keep us on their radar?

  The challenge is that babies come when they come, so planning an Airbnb is close to impossible. And he’ll be born during Vermont’s busiest tourist season, especially in Burlington. We know we’re asking a lot—but if someone has or knows of a space we could rent with some flexibility as it relates to timing, we’d be so grateful.

  We anticipate needing to stay in a hotel for the first few days, but we’re hoping to settle into more of a home space after that so his b-parents can visit and we can begin adjusting to life together until it’s time to return home.

  If you know the area and have ideas—conventional or creative—please feel free to reach out directly to Carly!

  We plan to keep everyone up to date as we near his birthday. Most importantly please keep his amazing parents in your hearts. They're the most ferocious and incredible people we've ever met.

  P.S. - we all saw this little ones foot come up on the screen and yelped - that looks like a toddlers foot!

• Update 6

  

  Some VERY exciting news & the journey ahead

  April 13, 2025

  Hi all,

  It’s been a minute since we’ve shared an update—and that’s because we’ve been holding a very hopeful secret we’re finally ready to share...

  On New Year’s Eve, we received a phone call that floored us: a birth family wanted to meet with us with the potential to match.

  The past four months have been a whirlwind. We’ve been slowly and thoughtfully building a relationship that has already exceeded our wildest hopes. While we’re not ready to share all the details just yet, we are overjoyed to say that the process is officially in motion.

  So what does this mean?

  First and foremost: adoption is inherently uncertain. Even after a baby is home with you, there’s still a path ahead. And that’s okay.We're not immune to anxiety or worry—but we also believe deeply in honoring the open adoption process and all the complexity it holds. A few reflections from the past few months:

  1) This process is about more than just a baby.

  When you begin early conversations, the match isn’t just about potential parenthood—it’s about relationship. When a birth and adoptive family connect in a spirit of mutual respect, it creates a strong foundation for the baby.

  That kind of connection helps a child thrive. It’s not just an adoption truth—it’s a life truth for any family.

  2) Yes, a birth family can change their mind—and they should always have that right.

  Will they change their mind? It’s possible. They may reconsider who they want to adopt, choose to parent, or shift their preferences around openness.

  We believe all parents—birth or adoptive—should reserve the right to change their mind for the sake of their child. This process isn’t about our ego or expectations—it’s about what this little spirit needs.

  And that’s what we’re here to honor.

  3) The goal in open adoption is to maintain a relationship.

  This can be hard for people to wrap their heads around—but here’s one way to look at it:

  If your child received an organ donation from someone who saved their life, wouldn’t you feel deep love for that person? And if your child wanted to know them—wouldn’t you do everything in your power to support that connection?

  That’s the essence of open adoption. It’s love, layered and long-lasting and a connection to a child's roots so they can thrive in their present.

  4) What happens after a connection is made?

  There’s a lot of reflection. There are visits. There’s learning and agency support. And eventually, if all continues, a little one enters the world.

  If we are given the honor of parenting that child, we’ll then enter the ICPC (interstate clearance) and revocation periods:

  ICPC is the time it takes for the baby’s birth state and our home state to agree on the adoption placement. We can't share too many details but its safe to say that we'll be living out of airbnb's for upwards of a week or more, if our path so takes us, before we come home with a little one.

  Revocation is a period (up to 30 days in some states) where the birth family has the legal right to change their mind and reverse the decision. This time line starts the moment baby is surrendered into our care.

  Are we scared? Absolutely. But we will stay the course—because these decisions, made out of deep love, deserve to be honored. No matter what that means for us.

  Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about us.
  It’s about this little soul.

  If revocation doesn’t occur, the adoption is finalized, and we’ll go on living life as a family—held in the beautiful, layered, and deeply human bond between our child, their birth family, and the love that brought us all together.

  Phew! If you made it to the end—you deserve a medal.

  We’ll be back soon to share more, especially about how we’re supporting birth families and preparing ourselves as hopeful parents-to-be. Your support for us on this journey has meant the world and it has helped us support this connection significantly which means more than we have words for. If you'd like to share with others that might be interested in the open adoption journey please do!

  With love and deep gratitude,
  C&T

  P.S. - photo shared is our zoom waiting room before the conversation that has already changed our lives :)

• Update 5

  

  Onto the next step!

  January 8, 2025

  Hi all,

  We took far longer than originally planned to get on here and give an update. So without further ado... WE PASSED OUR HOME STUDY! 🎉🎉🎉

  Wow, what a process that was—it was everything we had prepped for and shared here, and so much more. What stood out to us is that the home study process is far less about proving your home or relationship is "perfect" and far more about confronting difficult but real conversations about parenthood, our belief systems, and possible scenarios we might encounter. Patty, our social worker who conducted the home study, is a literal angel. She guided us with such compassion while also challenging us throughout the process. There were quite a few tears shed—not out of upset, but out of appreciation for how big parenting is, the loss inherent in adoption, the unknowns ahead of us, and so much more.

  So, what’s next, you might ask?

  Right now, our amazing agency is just about finished creating our adoption profile, which will be live by the end of this month. In the meantime, we’ve experienced some unexpected twists and turns (all good things!) that we hope to share more about soon. Ultimately, the next step is "matching," which is a pretty complex and unique process. We’ll provide another update soon to dive into what it means to "match" in open adoption and where we’re at in that journey.

  For now, I’d humbly ask a few things:

  1) If you have any kind of ritual in which you give thanks or send love to others, please keep our agency and the birth parents they serve in your hearts. In the past week alone, we’ve seen just how far they go to ensure that everyone in the adoption triad is respected and cared for. Their dedication to supporting and honoring birth families is truly remarkable, and we’re so grateful for it.

  2) Another vulnerable ask: If you happen to work for a corporation that (a) donates to non-profits and (b) loves a tax deduction, they could match your contribution to our adoption fund and receive a tax benefit. The generosity and support we’ve received already are beyond anything we could have imagined, and we cannot thank you enough. For anyone who feels comfortable asking their employer about matching a donation, we extend our deepest gratitude. As we move into this next stage, our goal is to support the birth family we’re matched with as best as we possibly can, and monetary support like this is more helpful than we can express. If you have any questions about how to facilitate a company match, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Carly or TJ directly.

  Love from us to all of you,

  C&T

• Update 4

  

  Home Study Begins!

  November 19, 2024

  On to the next step!

  State clearances are in ✅
  Our adoption profile with the agency is in production ✅
  We begin our home study next month! 😊

  We’re entering the final leg of what feels like the "first trimester" of adoption. Once our home study is complete, we’ll be on our way to becoming “active” and entering the waiting phase. We’re equally excited and nervous about this next step and everything it will bring.

  A little update on what we’ve been up to in preparation...

  The attached photo shows our favorite project so far: putting together the nursery.

  We’ve spent a lot of time in this space, processing, reflecting, and dreaming. Many moments are filled with thoughts about our future child—wondering what they’ll love, how they’ll grow into their own person, and how this room will be the first world they get to create. We also spend time thinking about their birth parents. We write letters and journal to them, imagining how they might be doing right now. Our hope is that one day, we can give these letters to show how deeply they were loved, even before they chose us.

  There’s so much uncertainty in growing a family, and adoption is no exception. For us, the roadmap feels less clear at times. But small, meaningful actions—like writing to our future birth parents or picking out books we’re excited to read to our child—have become the most grounding part of this journey. While they don’t give us answers about when, how, or what’s next, they connect us to what matters most: building our family.

  Heading into the home study, we know our social worker will ask us about how we manage tough moments, our relationship, and how we navigate uncertainty. And honestly, our answer is much like what we’ve written here: it’s hard, and we don’t love it—just like most people wouldn’t. But we’ve learned that resisting or trying to control uncertainty doesn’t get us anywhere. The best we can do is stay close to our hope and intentions.

  The two of us have faced some tough loss and uncertainty in our history together and we've learned alot from it. Some days, we’re really good at using all we've learned. Other days, you’d never guess that Carly is an anxiety specialist who preaches these same concepts 🙃.

  But, as a sweet friend reminded us recently: creating a family is the messiest, most beautiful thing you can do.

  We’re hopeful to update you with our next steps soon. In the meantime, we’re endlessly grateful for your support.

  A Quick Note About Donations:
  Your donation to this page goes to a nonprofit and is tax-deductible! If your workplace has a donation matching program, Adopttogether can provide the necessary tax forms to make that happen.

  With love and gratitude,
  C & T

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